The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The provided pie charts indicate how many juveniles

in ages

Change preposition

aged

show examples

18 to 25

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

old

use

Replace the word

used

show examples

to watch

in Canada in two

various

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

years. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest percentage of watching

was for Conventional

in 2009.

However

,youngsters did not prefer to watch Conventional

in 2019. In 2009,precisely %34 of

people

tended to watch Conventional

in Canada (which was the highest percentage of consuming

over the period),just ahead of the number of watching Flat-screen

at %27 in 2019.

Moreover

,just under a quarter of

people

who were between 18 to 25 years old

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

to use a Laptop at %20 in 2009,compared to the number of young

people

in ages

Change preposition

aged

show examples

18 to 25 years old at %12 in 2019.

In contrast

,only a tiny fraction of

people

were into

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

Conventional

at %4 in 2019.(Which was the least number of using television over the whole year).

In addition

,using mobile phones for watching

in 2009 was significantly less popular than watching

with

cellphones

Correct your spelling

cell phones

show examples

in 2019 at %15 and %26,respectively.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Aug 18 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company’s manager. In your letter: give details of the celebration explain the reason why you need time off suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

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To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society'

To what extent do you agree or disagree that Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.