The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The provided pie charts indicate how many juveniles

in ages

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aged

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18 to 25

year

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years

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old

use

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used

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to watch

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in Canada in two

various

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apply

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years. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest percentage of watching

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was for Conventional

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in 2009.

However

Linking Words

,youngsters did not prefer to watch Conventional

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in 2019. In 2009,precisely %34 of

people

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tended to watch Conventional

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in Canada (which was the highest percentage of consuming

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over the period),just ahead of the number of watching Flat-screen

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at %27 in 2019.

Moreover

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,just under a quarter of

people

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who were between 18 to 25 years old

prefered

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preferred

to use a Laptop at %20 in 2009,compared to the number of young

people

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in ages

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aged

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18 to 25 years old at %12 in 2019.

In contrast

Linking Words

,only a tiny fraction of

people

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were into

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

Conventional

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at %4 in 2019.(Which was the least number of using television over the whole year).

In addition

Linking Words

,using mobile phones for watching

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in 2009 was significantly less popular than watching

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with

cellphones

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cell phones

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in 2019 at %15 and %26,respectively.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Aug 18 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Nowadays some professions such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries.

Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. As part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your choices.

students should pay their full university fees themselves Do you agree or disagree?

living in big cities is associated with many problems, what are these problems and how can they be tackled?