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Band 2

Some people think that the media(such as newspaper) should be allowed to publish information about people's private lives. Other, however, think that there should be controls to stop the media publishing this kind of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #media #newspaper #information #lives #controls
In
this
 contemporary era, the
media
 has a strong influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the world lifestyle.
Therefore
, some individuals believe that the
media
(
such
 as
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
) should be allowed to publish information about people's private lives.
On the other hand
, others argue that there should be controls to stop the
media
publishing
Change preposition
from publishing
show examples
this
 kind of information. The essay will discuss both views and I will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, there are
teo
Correct your spelling
two
 main reasons why the
media
 should be allowed to publish information about people's private lives. The first reason is that people can gain experience from reading the lives of private individuals.
This
 will help them to learn how to deal with their personal problems. What is more, the
media
 may
chance
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 the thinking of some genders about how to deal with
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 difficult situations. It is a second reason because
this
 reason can help to
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to address both views comprehensively and include relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure is clear by using appropriate linking words and phrases to make the ideas flow more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is well-structured, but be sure to include a clear conclusion that summarizes your points and gives a final opinion.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and lays out the structure of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views to some extent, which is good for task achievement. Consider developing each point further.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom of the press
  • democratic society
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • public interest
  • individual rights
  • right to privacy
  • mental health issues
  • misinformation
  • responsible journalism
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