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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #population #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparison
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the presented table illustrates the
population
Use synonyms
 of two different countries,
th
Correct your spelling
the
Australia
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 and
Malaysia
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 in 1980 and 2002. It is clearly seen that both nations had a significant increase in their
population
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 during more than 2 decades with 4.9 and 10.6
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 growth for
Australia
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 and
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malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
, respectively. as can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
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 the contribution of
male
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males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
Australia
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 remained the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 49.9 and 51.1,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased (50.3% to 50.6%) and
according to
Linking Words
 that the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased (49.7% to 49.4%). people who are over 65 years old contributed 9.6% and 12.4% (with 2.8% growth) in
Australia
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 in 1980 and 2002 respectively ;
however
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
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 had a minimal
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 in over 65
population
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 (0.6%) in the same period. the average annual
population
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 growth increased
0.1
Change preposition
by 0.1
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% in
Australia
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.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 contrast, in
Use synonyms
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 0.3 decline was shown.
Although
Linking Words
 the birth rate increased in
Australia
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, decreased in
Malaysia
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.
Submitted by ghazal.seyedi95 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, australia, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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