Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and this money could be better spent elsewhere .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that some individuals believe that the government is squandering
money
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on
art
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when it could be used more effectively in other areas. I
am agree
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agree
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with
the
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apply
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both sides
and
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apply
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.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
essay will shed light on both statements and will provide my opinion . On the one hand, spending
money
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on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
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by the administration may
be
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apply
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lead to the rise of the economy for the county
throughout
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apply
show examples
attracting a lot of visitors. To make it more clear,
art
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such
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as; musicians, singers and actors are most popular by
majority
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the majority
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of
people
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so, when the government decide to
hosting
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host
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them in
region
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the region
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this
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can help to refresh the area and attract mankind like
this
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concerts.
Moreover
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,
art
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teaches
people
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about their own culture and history.
For Example
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, without government funding, we are not able to protect our cultural heritage and most artists would not be able to work as they don’t make enough wealth to support themselves.
On the other hand
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, some humans believe that
money
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should
spend
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be spent
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on education rather
that
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than
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art
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. To elaborate; education
play
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plays
show examples
a crucial role in
the
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apply
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society for the individual.
For instance
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; without learning
people
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will not
able
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be able
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to protect
the
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apply
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society and themselves.
Morever
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Moreover
,some humankind argue that
this
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money
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should
spend
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be spent
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in
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on
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the health sector ,
where
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which
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can provide more
advancement
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advanced
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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to take care of
people
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as
this
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more
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is more
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important than
art
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.
To sum up
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, as we have seen. There is no easy answer to
this
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question. On balance.
however
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, I tend to believe that public services
such
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as education and healthcare need more funding but they should not forget about supporting arts as arts add beauty and creativity to our lives, which is still valuable.
Submitted by khulood.92 on

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coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay, which is great. However, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
While you addressed both sides of the argument, it was not done in a balanced manner. Try to equally elaborate on your points when discussing both sides of the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulate your ideas well.
task achievement
It’s great that you considered both sides of the argument and provided your opinion, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • promoting cultural diversity
  • stimulates economic growth
  • creative industries
  • revenue
  • economic competitiveness
  • quality of life
  • wellbeing
  • social cohesion
  • strategic investment
  • sustainable development
  • accountability
  • extravagant
  • resilience
  • public discourse
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