The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy. Do you think a future resource will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

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For centuries,

oil

Use synonyms

has advanced civilization and created breakthrough inventions.

Thus

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, the lifeblood of our modern society. Despite

this

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, it is my contention that renewable

energy

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and

biofuels

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will take

oil

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’s place, as these alternatives have proven to be more beneficial for the environment and local communities. The subsequent sections of

this

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essay will explain

this

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. Global warming and climate changes worldwide are largely caused by

oil

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Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

renewable

energy

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has proven to contribute no harmful chemicals that can damage the environment.

For example

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, David Attenborough conducted a study at National Geographic that indicated that fossil fuels are responsible for 89% of pollution, which causes a disturbance in biodiversity.

In addition

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, renewable

energy

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like solar and wind are

also

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cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

and can

safe

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save

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governments money. Given

this

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, I firmly believe that renewable

energy

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is a more suitable option, as it causes less greenhouse gas emissions.

Biofuels

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are a modem invention that can completely erase the usage of

oil

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For example

Linking Words

, a study at Green Agriculture found that

biofuels

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have the potential to completely replace other

energy

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sources, as they can be produced in almost all regions.

Additionally

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biofuels

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consist of various organic matter, which can financially benefit communities and farmers because they are not

government owned

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government-owned

show examples

, like

oil

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Hence

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, in my opinion,

biofuels

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have the potential to create more opportunities for humans, which allows them to live in a better economy. In conclusion, renewable

energy

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and

biofuels

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have the potential to replace

oil

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in the foreseeable future, as I believe they are better for the environment and can benefit local economies. The entire world will benefit if alternative sources are implicated.

jessicajreichelSat Apr 06 2024

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Examples

Keep working on illustrating your arguments with more specific examples to further strengthen your task response.

Cohesion

Try to ensure a varied and extensive use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the essay.

Structure

Your essay is well structured, providing a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization significantly contributes to its coherence.

Supported Points

Your main points are well supported by explanations, which helps in achieving the task response.

Examples

You effectively use renewable energy and biofuels as examples, which demonstrates your ability to present relevant and specific examples to support your argument.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy. Do you think a future resource will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Students should pay full cost for their own study , because university education benefits individual rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?