The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy. Do you think a future resource will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

For centuries,
oil
has advanced civilization and created breakthrough inventions.
Thus
, the lifeblood of our modern society. Despite
this
, it is my contention that renewable
energy
and
biofuels
will take
oil
’s place, as these alternatives have proven to be more beneficial for the environment and local communities. The subsequent sections of
this
essay will explain
this
. Global warming and climate changes worldwide are largely caused by
oil
,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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renewable
energy
has proven to contribute no harmful chemicals that can damage the environment.
For example
, David Attenborough conducted a study at National Geographic that indicated that fossil fuels are responsible for 89% of pollution, which causes a disturbance in biodiversity.
In addition
, renewable
energy
like solar and wind are
also
more
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
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and can
safe
Replace the word
save
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governments money. Given
this
, I firmly believe that renewable
energy
is a more suitable option, as it causes less greenhouse gas emissions.
Biofuels
are a modem invention that can completely erase the usage of
oil
.
For example
, a study at Green Agriculture found that
biofuels
have the potential to completely replace other
energy
sources, as they can be produced in almost all regions.
Additionally
,
biofuels
consist of various organic matter, which can financially benefit communities and farmers because they are not
government owned
Add a hyphen
government-owned
show examples
, like
oil
.
Hence
, in my opinion,
biofuels
have the potential to create more opportunities for humans, which allows them to live in a better economy. In conclusion, renewable
energy
and
biofuels
have the potential to replace
oil
in the foreseeable future, as I believe they are better for the environment and can benefit local economies. The entire world will benefit if alternative sources are implicated.
Submitted by jessicajreichel on

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Examples
Keep working on illustrating your arguments with more specific examples to further strengthen your task response.
Cohesion
Try to ensure a varied and extensive use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the essay.
Structure
Your essay is well structured, providing a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization significantly contributes to its coherence.
Supported Points
Your main points are well supported by explanations, which helps in achieving the task response.
Examples
You effectively use renewable energy and biofuels as examples, which demonstrates your ability to present relevant and specific examples to support your argument.

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