In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #crime #adult #punishment

In the contemporary epoch, criminality among youth is a growing concern.Many

people

think that punishing an individual is important to stop him from participating in criminal activities. I contend it is important to punish anyone who has committed a crime because it will allow them to rectify their mistakes and protect their

future

Although

crimes

are controlled by government authorities, little has been done to ameliorate

this

dilemma. Committing a crime is a serious issue and it poses a threat to the

future

prospects because youth is the

future

of the nation.Many

people

are involved in various

crimes

such

as Drug trafficking and human trafficking.

For instance

, reports from India

states

Correct subject-verb agreement

state

show examples

that nearly 80% of the population is involved in drug trafficking. Whoever is seen engaged in criminal acts must be incarcerated, so that

people

must deter themselves from involving in

such

crimes

Furthermore

, it will allow a person to ponder over his mistakes and

this

will allow him to rectify them, after being released from prison.

Therefore

, enforcement of laws is imperative in order to overcome

this

situation.

Moreover

protection

Correct article usage

the protection

show examples

of the youths’

future

is a prime responsibility of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of the youngsters are found in cyber

crimes

and

robbery

Fix the agreement mistake

robberies

show examples

. Stopping them from engaging in

crimes

will aid them to be cognizant about their

future

However

, it is essential that they are being punished

first

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they think over their act. If youth is not stopped from participating in

crimies

Correct your spelling

crimes

, it will lead to a disastrous

future

As a result

, youngsters’

future

Fix the agreement mistake

futures

show examples

can only be protected if the elderly take appropriate steps. In a nutshell,

elvating

Correct your spelling

elevating

criminality can only be deterred by instilling fear among

people

by a

misdemeanor

Change the spelling

misdemeanour

show examples

Furthermore

, it is suggested that

people

, irrespective of their age, must be held guilty

for

Change preposition

show examples

transgressing their legislation. It not only affects the

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

individuals'

show examples

life only, but

also

tarnishes

Correct article usage

the nations

show examples

nations

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

reputation as well.

Therefore

, proactive measures should be taken to decrease the rates of

crimes

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and shows a clear position regarding the punishment of teenagers who commit major crimes. However, try to provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Work on expanding your points with more comprehensive ideas and evidence to fully develop your response. Ensure each paragraph contributes to your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally well-organized, consider reinforcing logical connections between sentences and paragraphs to make the structure more robust.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with concrete examples or statistics that are directly related to your argument. This will help clarify and reinforce your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the issue and your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a good command of language and a clear intent to persuade the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

psychological maturity
consequences of their actions
juvenile crime
root causes
family breakdown
poverty
lack of education
harsh penalties
rehabilitation and reformation
capacity for change
detrimental psychological effects
age-appropriate interventions
constructive path
deterrent
overcrowded prisons
exacerbate criminal behavior

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In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programmes to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?