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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart depicts the scores achieved by different teams listed as A, B and
C
Use synonyms
 over the years marked
in
Change preposition
apply
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between 2002 and 2005
Overall
Linking Words
,
Team
Use synonyms
 B scored the highest with
Team
Use synonyms
 A
Correct your spelling
up next
upnext
Correct your spelling
up next
, leaving
Team
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 scoring
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
, maintaining a consistent pattern Upon closer examination, it is observed that
Team
Use synonyms
 B consistently scored the highest in all four years starting with 82
points
Use synonyms
 in 2002 which gradually
drop downed
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 to 43
points
Use synonyms
 in 2004, the declining trend ended with a score of 55
points
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
Team
Use synonyms
 A and
C
Use synonyms
 began with 5
points
Use synonyms
 and 10
points
Use synonyms
 in 2002. The scores later on gradually rose to 15
points
Use synonyms
 in 2003 for
Team
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 and
overall
Linking Words
Team
Use synonyms
 A high at 35
points
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 gradual rise ended with a steep decline in 2004, where both
Team
Use synonyms
 A and
C
Use synonyms
 scored only 8 and 5
points
Use synonyms
 respectively

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words c, team, points with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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