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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the answers to a survey about the most important factor needed for the success of a business by people in the USA and Europe. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the answers to a survey about the most important factor needed for the success of a business by people in the USA and Europe. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart below illustrates the proportion of different
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
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 on commercial success in America and
Europe
Use synonyms
. It's clear that most
Use synonyms
Europe
Change preposition
of Europe
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 consider both
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
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 of
director
Correct article usage
the director
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 and
type
Correct article usage
the type
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 of
business
Use synonyms
 as the most important
while
Linking Words
 American residents think only the latter
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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contributes most to
business
Use synonyms
 success. In
Europe
Use synonyms
, both director personality and
business
Use synonyms
 type
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
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 up the percentage of about 38%, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the highest in that country, compared with approximately 39% for kinds of
business
Use synonyms
 and only 20% for the other one in America, which is obviously lower. Meanwhile, more than 20%
USA
Correct your spelling
of US
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 citizens take the
overall
Linking Words
 economy as a vital factor, which is slightly higher than that of
European
Fix the agreement mistake
Europeans
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, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 ratio of around 18%. For the remaining influences, they all account for the percentages of lower than 20%. When it comes to the external things, it only occupies about 10% in both America and
Europe
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, around 18%
USA
Change preposition
of USA
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 residents hold that
political
Correct article usage
the political
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 situation is important
on
Change preposition
in
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 finance, which is almost 6 times the proportion of
European
Fix the agreement mistake
Europeans
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(merely 3%), which is significantly lower.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, business with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • main trends
  • breakdown
  • significant differences
  • comparison
  • factors
  • important
  • popularity
  • valued factors
  • preferences
  • implications
  • regional differences
  • cultural context
  • economic context
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