IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside this vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantage of driverless vehicles outweight the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #advantage #outweight
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There is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 long-standing debate about whether
in
Change preposition
apply
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future driverless cars will be more appreciated and
exceeding
Wrong verb form
exceed
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 current
vehicles
in
Change preposition
on
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 every side.
Whereas
 some believe that
this
 practice would bring more metrics, others, including me, believe that
this
 change would lead to some serious demetrics as job losses and vulnerable
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, which could be hacked. The biggest benefit of
this
 practice is that it enhances mobility. What I mean is in contemporary days for most folks it is not tricky to get a
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license,
while
 there are some individuals
such
 as senior citizens or disabled people who can not drive themselves,
therefore
this
 shift would improve their
indepence
Correct your spelling
independence
 and mobility.
Moreover
, autonomous
vehicles
 could reduce human error, which is the leading cause of traffic accidents, potentially saving lives. Since
overwhelming
Add an article
the overwhelming
an overwhelming
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 majority of accidents
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
for
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due to
show examples
 humans' inattentiveness, so
this
 alter reduces danger and provides a
favorable
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favourable
show examples
 journey.
However
, there are some arguments in
favor
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favour
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 of those
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to who
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who
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whom
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this
 idea doesn't appeal.
In other
words
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words,
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 there are taxi drivers who would be completely unnecessary after
Add an article
the overmentioned
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overmentioned transform
Replace the word
aforementioned transformation
show examples
, widespread adoption of driverless technology could lead to significant job losses even for professional drivers.
In addition
, another shortcoming is that
this
 shift is new, which means it is vulnerable
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 hacking attacks and can jeopardize
passangers'
Correct your spelling
passengers'
 lives. Ultimately,
while
 the shift from traditional
vehicles
 to driverless cars presents clear benefits,
such
 as increased mobility for those unable to drive and the potential for reducing accidents, it
also
 comes with significant challenges. The potential for job losses in driving-related industries and the vulnerability of these new systems to hacking cannot be overlooked.
That is
 why,
while
 the advancement of autonomous
vehicles
 is promising, it is crucial to carefully weigh these pros and cons and address the associated risks before fully embracing
this
 technology.
Submitted by Amir Rustamov on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument, which is good. However, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific studies or real-life instances where driverless cars have already been implemented.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors, such as 'demetrics' instead of 'detriments' and 'overmentioned' instead of 'aforementioned.' These don't drastically affect understanding but make your writing more polished.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. For instance, instead of 'The biggest benefit of this practice,' you might say 'One of the biggest benefits of this practice,' to smoothly transition from your introduction.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and a balanced conclusion that clearly summarizes your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous vehicles
  • driverless technology
  • human error
  • traffic congestion
  • traffic patterns
  • mobility
  • emissions
  • job losses
  • ethical dilemmas
  • hacking
  • security concerns
  • infrastructure
  • trolley problem
  • optimization
  • independence
What to do next:
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