Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #government #focus #environment #pollution

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Being sick is one of the most difficult situations that humans have experienced. Several people argue that the

government

Use synonyms

should implement some strategies to decrease environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing problems.

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

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view in two areas.

Firstly

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, I concede that the

government

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plays an important role in reducing

pollution

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in the area and

as a result

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, helps to prevent illnesses related to air

pollution

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like Asma, or water

pollution

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etc.

However

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, it is noteworthy to say that the majority of sicknesses are hereditary and they are not related to the

government

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or any other external factors. Apart from that, providing the opportunity to own a house

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

government

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for the public does not guarantee

prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

of all types of illnesses.

This

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may just impact stress or mental problems.

Secondly

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although

Linking Words

supporters of intervention of the

government

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by reducing

pollution

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or tackling

home

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issues

are argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that certain

diseases

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may related to climate or having a

home

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, there are many kinds of

diseases

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which are manmade like COVID-19 or common between animals and humans

such

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as different types of Parasite

diseases

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. Almost all

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apply

show examples

artificial

Add an article

the artificial

show examples

viruses which are made in laboratories are unknown and neither the

government

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nor even scientists are able to deal with them. In my opinion, for these illnesses which are not related to

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

or having a

home

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basically, the

government

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would not have any effective solution. In conclusion, defenders of the

government

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's role in becoming sick

are argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that authorities should

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

or solve house issues, I wholeheartedly believe that as the majority of

diseases

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are hereditary or caused by manmade viruses, the

government

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is not able to tackle them by changing environment or giving

home

Use synonyms

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Mon Aug 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on creating a clearer logical structure in your essay. While your points are valid, they seem somewhat disjointed. Make sure each paragraph flows from one idea to the next more seamlessly.

task achievement

Ensure your main points are fully supported with relevant and specific examples. This gives your arguments more weight and persuasiveness.

task achievement

While you have adequately addressed the task, strengthen your argument by providing more detailed and precise examples that directly relate to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion provide a clear start and end to your essay, making the structure easy to follow at a high level.

task achievement

You have presented a full response to the question, providing arguments for why you disagree with the initial statement.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and you make valid points about the limitations of government intervention in preventing illness and disease.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pollution control
respiratory diseases
cardiovascular diseases
overcrowding
renewable energy
waste management
building standards
affordable housing
emissions
environmental regulations
mental health problems
damp
ventilation
lifestyle factors
healthcare access

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students wan to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think it is beneficial for the children of these families. While others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the number of crimes comitted by young people in majoe cities throughout the world is increasing. discuss this issue. give reasons and suggest some solutions.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outwigh the disadvantages?