Discipline is ever increasing probelm in modern schools. Some people think that discpline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others this that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinioon.

Discipline
plays an indispensable role in every aspect of life, which, unfortunately, is a growing concern in the modern education system.
While
some people believe that
teachers
can more effectively
discipline
students
, others argue that
parents
should take
this
responsibility.
Nonetheless
, I subscribe to the former view; in my perspective, interactive learning under the supervision of trained instructors in school provides invaluable disciplinary skills, which cannot be obtained at home.
This
essay will discuss why a set of society believes that
teachers
should be held responsible for disciplining
students
, and why others advocate against it. On the one hand, it is believed that
teachers
are the embodiments of excellence and
discipline
.
In other words
, since classrooms encompass a diversity of
students
,
teachers
, pertaining to their illustrious knowledge and vast experience, are well-equipped to cultivate different types of
students
.
For instance
, in several schools,
teachers
devise various activities for
students
to participate in, with each requiring different rules and regulations to follow.
Thus
,
teachers
are professionally educated and trained, equipped with the skills to produce more disciplined
students
, with their diverse nature notwithstanding.
On the other hand
,
parents
know their
children
more well. To elaborate on
this
, since the upbringing of
children
primarily takes place at home, not only are
parents
well aware of their
children
's instincts, but
also
know what type of treatments could benefit them.
For example
, if
children
had not behaved well in restaurants,
parents
would know what sort of punishment is going to improve their behaviour.
Similarly
,
parents
would reward their
children
accordingly
if their
children
had shown
discipline
in restaurants.
Hence
, it is parent's understanding of their
children
that makes them more responsible for instilling
discipline
in them. In conclusion,
albeit
Correct word choice
although
show examples
parents
understand their
children
's natural instincts more pronouncedly,
teachers
can ingeniously handle their
students
and make them disciplined by engaging them in different skilful activities. In my view,
teachers
can educate
children
about the significance of
discipline
and the downside of undisciplinary approaches through interactive and collaborative learning in conjunction with the enactment of violation of regulations.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer connection between your main points and examples for stronger impact. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you proofread your work to correct small grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This will help to maintain the fluency and accuracy of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on maintaining a more varied sentence structure to make your essay more engaging.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage well for the rest of the essay. It provides a solid context and clearly presents your position.
task achievement
You have provided balanced viewpoints for both sides of the argument, which helps in showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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