Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Parenthood could be challenging as it mentally and physically changes a person , it prepares them for
world
of new Add an article
the world
a world
experinces
, an important role for a lifetime . Most Correct your spelling
experiences
people
would essentially at a
start of adulthood or parenthood tend to be nervous and have intrusive thoughts which is completely normal.
Usually for the Correct article usage
the
first born
child of the family Add a hyphen
first-born
parents
tend to more
careful and sensitive as it begins a new chapter of their Add a missing verb
be more
responsibilites
.
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
To begin
with, many people
would consider a course to help them get comfortable with a newborn or somemight
prefer birthing Correct your spelling
some might
classes
which one
usually would go towards the end of the trimester or pregnancy.Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
could essentially cause ease within the new parents
,as they might interact with other parents
who usually have experience or parents
who are new themselves furthermore
, this
could enable an
Change the article
a
postive
growth towards families in which both the father and mother tend to help out in the Correct your spelling
positive
houshold
chores and both equally bond well with the newborn . Correct your spelling
household
In addition
to the prior statment
everyday Correct your spelling
statement
classes
could ensure an equal opportunity for both the mother or
the father to work and Correct word choice
and
ear
for the family.
Correct your spelling
care
on the other hand
, usually
Add a comma
usually,
people
would prefer to go with the 'flow' in the sense to keep
things the way they are Change preposition
of keeping
instead
of going for courses this
could be benefical
to the Correct your spelling
beneficial
people
who grew up in a
extended Change the article
an
familes
and help around the house with daily routines Correct your spelling
families
family
this
ensures them to be active and well aware of their sourrundings
most likely not to take up Correct your spelling
surroundings
classes
moreover
, it is a so called
stigma in some Add a hyphen
so-called
communties
where the husband or the father helps around the house or takes up any work which is usually prefered to be done by the mother in some households Correct your spelling
communities
this
could cause some personal issues within the families and one could look down upon them .
To conclude
, courses or classes
to prepare parents
to be good may be subjective within families or cultures as many prefer to take it up and many do not .Some might argue it could be becuase
of the cost or the so-called stigma and some prefer itCorrect your spelling
because
a
way of being good Change preposition
as a
parents
and raising their kids in a healthy environment.Submitted by rehanaafeesrs on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the topic, but to improve, ensure that all your main points are supported with specific relevant examples rather than general statements. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There are some cohesive devices in your essay, such as 'to begin with' and 'on the other hand,' which help in linking your ideas. However, there are instances where your ideas seem a bit disjointed. Ensure each paragraph develops a single main idea and use more transition words to link your points smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is a bit short and could be improved by clearly stating your position on the topic. Likewise, the conclusion should restate your main points more clearly and draw a definitive conclusion based on the arguments presented.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of requiring parents to take courses. This is great as it shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an awareness of different cultural perspectives, which adds depth to your arguments and shows critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
You've made an effort to structure your essay using introductory phrases and cohesive devices. This shows an understanding of how to organize an argument coherently.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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