IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Theoretical subjects (such as mathematic and philosophy) should no longer be taught in universities because most of university students choose practical subjects (such as accounting and economics).To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #mathematic #philosophy #universities #university #students #economics
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, there has been an increase in the number of people who pay attention to the issue of college
education
. It is said that the theory courses no longer need to exist, just because of their small popularity. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
 idea and reasons will be provided in
this
 essay. Admittedly, people who agree with the theoretical
subjects
 should be dropped and assume that the only purpose of university
education
 is to let students access success immediately.
However
,
this
 view is short-sighted. To be specific,
although
subjects
such
 as accounting and economics have a certain demand in the job market, other
subjects
also
 have their own employment opportunities and development prospects.
For example
, the technology industry has a high demand for talent in computer science and engineering, and the healthcare industry has a high demand for medical and nursing disciplines.
Furthermore
, theoretical knowledge is evolved from elevate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can form the basis of many practical
subjects
.
In other words
, some practical fields
such
 as economics and computer science are often underpinned by mathematical theories. If the theoretical
subjects
 are removed, students’ thinking depth and width would be affected, and
therefore
 restrict the progress of civilization. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement of removing theory classes from the university
education
 system because I believe that theoretical
subjects
 are an integral part of a university
education
, as they contribute to the intellectual growth of students and are the basis of many practical courses.
Submitted by 2575444164 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction is clear and introduces your stance well. However, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that previews the main arguments of your essay more explicitly.
task achievement
When presenting counterarguments, make sure to clearly refute them and show why your perspective is stronger. This will improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, to help maintain the flow of the essay. You can use transitional phrases to bridge ideas and create a more cohesive narrative.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the prompt and addressed the main arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly articulated. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: