Nowadays, it is becoming more popular to see animals to be kept in captivity, for instance, the zoo. Do the advantage of keeping animal in the zoo outweight the disadvantage?
Maintaining
animals
in the enclosures for attraction purposes is becoming more popular day
by day
. While
there are some benefits to having them in zoos, they are outweighed by the downsides.
One advantage of keeping animals
in zoos is it is so straightforward to ensure that they are living in a safe environment. In this
cutting-edge era, there are numerous animals
that are on the edge of extinction. Hence
, having them in captive areas can make this
process longer or even recreate these types of animals
. Being able to breed them so simply in those areas is another advantage. Experts can observe the condition of the creature in their breeding time, so some side effects will never have any bad effect on them.
However
, the disadvantages of this
trend are far greater. The biggest one is one day
they all lose their wild character because they have all the facilities that are fulfilled by humanity. At the end
of the day
, all animals
- even carnivorous ones - will become adapted and connected to us, as wolves did, and become the best friend of people which is dogs. For instance
, there is a park in Australia that aims to enhance the lives of wild wolves. However
, you can play with these predator animals
in there today which is not correct by the laws of biology. Moreover
, as we try to keep them in captivity, we increase the possibility of modifying the food chain in forests. All these creatures are wirelessly connected with each other, and we can destroy this
chain if we take a particular animal from there. In some continents, the dwellers are suffering from grasshoppers because all of the birds that consume them are now in zoos, acting as toys for youngsters.
In conclusion, keeping wildlife in artificial habitats can pose several upsides, such
as a guaranteed safe life or successful breeding seasons. However
, the problems that potentially we face are much more significant, including missing the value of animals
and the possibility of destroying a food chain.Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides relevant points to support your argument. However, it would benefit from more specific and varied examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear logical structure with good introduction and conclusion, try to ensure all main points are fully developed. Be careful with repetitive phrases like 'all the facilities that are fulfilled by humanity,' which can be more concise.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the essay well. The reader understands your position from the start and can follow the logical flow to the end.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of keeping animals in zoos.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.