Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

The increasing rate of animal loss from their habitats is found to be a huge concern these days. One of the main drivers contributing to
this
trend is illegal hunting, and
therefore
, the government’s involvement in providing
wildlife
conservation is strongly required to mitigate
this
matter. Irresponsible animal hunting stands as the primary reason for some
species
Change noun form
species'
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endangerment.
This
is
due to
the fact that some hunters might misplace their bid on pregnant mammals with long gestation periods,
thus
, the offspring will never be born.
For instance
, rampant poaching has reportedly happened in South Sulawesi, causing some pregnant elephants to die.
This
has caused
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
delay
of
Change preposition
in
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elephant breeding, as they are known to be pregnant for up to 2 years. To mitigate
this
threat, some actions should be implemented by the governments, one of them is
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing
wildlife
conservation, especially for regions with an abundance of forests.
This
wildlife
protection could protect endangered animals and preserve these beautiful living creatures by providing an ecosystem similar to their natural habitats.
For example
, as the South Sulawesi’s authority has been alarmed by the decline of elephants in their region, they started to create elephant conservations.
This
has proven to accelerate the number of baby elephants born and encourages sustainable practices. In conclusion, there has been an ongoing discussion towards animal extinctions, which are mainly caused by
outlaws
Fix the agreement mistake
outlaw
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hunting since hunters often shoot at pregnant animals. Mitigations of
this
issue could be implemented, one of them
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
by creating
wildlife
conservation by the government to protect the upbringing of these animals.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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task response
To improve your task response score, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Your response should not only identify the reasons behind animal extinction and suggest solutions, but also explore these ideas more deeply. Add more varied examples and perspectives to fully cover the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you have a well structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and within them. This can be improved by varying your transitional phrases beyond just the basic connectors. Also, ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, with each supporting idea clearly linked back to your main argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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