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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information about the way in which water used in different countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information about the way in which water used in different countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words
#minutes #information #water #countries #summaries #features #comparisons
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The pie chart shows the percentage of world
water
Use synonyms
 usage in three sectors, which are
agriculture
Use synonyms
, domestic and industry. Meanwhile, the graph chart indicates the
water
Use synonyms
 portion used in those sectors in four countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the worldwide
water
Use synonyms
 was serving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cultivation the most in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
year, in New Zealand, the weighing of
water
Use synonyms
 usage had a different trend that the
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic was dominant. With reference to the pie chart, the domestic was using the least of international
water
Use synonyms
 resources with 8%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, most of the world's
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 for crop growing with 70% and the rest 22% was for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industry. By looking at the graph bar, we can see that Canada uses the most
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial 80% and the least
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 at 8%. Meanwhile, it was quite opposite to India, it is at 92%, 5% and 3% respectively for
agriculture
Use synonyms
, domestic and industry.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can be aware of the tremendous of
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 used in China.
Submitted by nelson311974 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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