IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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It argues that university
students
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 need to be closer to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
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 when they study, and some people believe that
students
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 should get knowledge
in
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 long distance from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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. I think, that living far away from university has more benefits than drawbacks, and
this
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 essay will discuss both of them. ​The main advantage of living away from
home
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 is preparing for
the
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apply
show examples
adult life. Living without family can help to take responsibility
to
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for
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 yourself.
As a result
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, you can understand the many challenging parts of life.
For example
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, pupils from young days learn how to buy things on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 and how to economy
the
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apply
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money. All of
this
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 can provide
good
Add an article
a good
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 experience and
to
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apply
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learning many necessary skills
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 finance literacy.
Therefore
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 it is better if studier
live
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lives
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in
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apply
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a long distance from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
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home
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. ​The
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
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 of
this
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 situation is
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
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control
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 from
parents
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. If
students
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 live without family,
parents
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 can not
control
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as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
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 well.
Accordingly
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, they can make wrong decisions and get
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 with
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 people.
Moreover
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, the adaptation for
new
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a new
the new
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 place will be difficult alone.
However
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,
parents
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 should trust
to
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apply
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their children and give chance to gain experience. Even if, it is hard for
parents
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 they can
control
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 them.
For instance
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, set trackers that
gives
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give
show examples
 information about location. It will help to
control
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 and to trust
to
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apply
show examples
their children. ​
To conclude
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,
while
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 there
have
Verb problem
are
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 many drawbacks, I think the benefits will be more important than other things. And living far away from
home
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give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
students
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 good experiences and
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 way to prepare for big life.

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task response
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your position and briefly outlining what the essay will discuss. Avoid vague language like 'it argues' and specify what will be covered.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect readability. Consider revising for clarity and correctness, e.g., 'economy the money' should be 'manage money.'
task response
Your arguments and examples are relevant, but they need to be more specific and detailed to fully support your points. Expand on examples and provide more concrete details.
task response
You have effectively outlined both sides of the argument, which strengthens the overall discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which ties the essay together well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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