In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
It argues that university
students
need to be closer to the
Correct article usage
apply
home
when they study, and some people believe that students
should get knowledge in
Change preposition
apply
the
long distance from Correct article usage
a
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
home
. I think, that living far away from university has more benefits than drawbacks, and Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
essay will discuss both of them.
The main advantage of living away from home
is preparing for the
adult life. Living without family can help to take responsibility Correct article usage
apply
to
yourself. Change preposition
for
As a result
, you can understand the many challenging parts of life. For example
, pupils from young days learn how to buy things on own
and how to economy Correct pronoun usage
their own
the
money. All of Correct article usage
apply
this
can provide good
experience and Add an article
a good
to
learning many necessary skills Change preposition
apply
such
as,
finance literacy. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
it is better if studier live
Change the verb form
lives
in
a long distance from Change preposition
apply
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
home
.
The drawbacks
of Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
this
situation is few
Correct quantifier usage
little
control
from parents
. If students
live without family, parents
can not control
as
well. Correct pronoun usage
them as
Accordingly
, they can make wrong decisions and get friend
with Fix the agreement mistake
friends
wrong
people. Correct article usage
the wrong
Moreover
, the adaptation for new
place will be difficult alone. Add an article
a new
the new
However
, parents
should trust to
their children and give chance to gain experience. Even if, it is hard for Change preposition
apply
parents
they can control
them. For instance
, set trackers that gives
information about location. It will help to Change the verb form
give
control
and to trust to
their children.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, while
there have
many drawbacks, I think the benefits will be more important than other things. And living far away from Verb problem
are
home
give
Change the verb form
gives
students
good experiences and good
way to prepare for big life.Add an article
a good
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task response
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your position and briefly outlining what the essay will discuss. Avoid vague language like 'it argues' and specify what will be covered.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect readability. Consider revising for clarity and correctness, e.g., 'economy the money' should be 'manage money.'
task response
Your arguments and examples are relevant, but they need to be more specific and detailed to fully support your points. Expand on examples and provide more concrete details.
task response
You have effectively outlined both sides of the argument, which strengthens the overall discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which ties the essay together well.