IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It will be better for both society and individuals is driverless cars - cars can drive themselves- become more widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often believed that
driverless
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cars
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 should be encouraged, for they could offer more benefits to society and individuals. I partially support
this
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 view, for they lead to a rise in safety regardless of the fact that they can deprive many
drivers
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 of a sense of excitement. On the one hand, there should be more
driverless
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cars
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 since they would contribute to the declining number of
traffic
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accidents
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 caused by careless
drivers
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.
In other words
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, automatic
cars
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 are more likely to secure the lives of pedestrians thanks to sophisticated sensors, which can instantly detect any small signs of
people
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, making them stop before they hit innocent
people
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.
For instance
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, the number of
traffic
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accidents
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 has dropped by nearly 20% since
driverless
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cars
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 were introduced in Japan in 2022, increasing their demand from the public
further
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.
Therefore
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,
such
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 modern technology reduces the concerns for
traffic
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accidents
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 caused by ill-mannered
drivers
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 because of the trusted systems to protect public safety.
On the other hand
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, the prevalence of
driverless
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cars
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 is potentially disadvantageous to many
drivers
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 who enjoy driving , which makes them feel relaxed and adventurous. Indeed, driving is one of the most popular ways for
people
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 to get away from daily stress, allowing them to visit unfamiliar spots
as well as
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 enjoy different views
while
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 driving.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are able to gain more power and energy when they are able to drive a long distance on their own, which makes them proud and satisfied with their good driving skills.
Thus
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, the complete disappearance of conventional vehicles will shock and disappoint those who love driving for their own adventures. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that
driverless
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cars
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 should be more widely introduced in modern society, which can reduce the number of
traffic
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accidents
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due to
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 the advanced sensors to protect
people
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.
However
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, traditional
cars
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 should be preserved to some extent so
people
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 can still enjoy driving and exploring new places on their own.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view and directly addresses the task prompt, which is excellent. To elevate your task achievement score further, try to provide a more in-depth analysis or additional examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and the main points are well-supported. To improve, consider refining your transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help to frame your argument effectively.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong, and your main points are well-explained and supported with relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous vehicles
  • artificial intelligence
  • advanced sensors
  • alleviate
  • enhance
  • streamline
  • revolutionize
  • minimize
  • mitigate
  • optimize
  • eco-friendly
  • sustainable
  • urbanization
  • traffic flow
  • transportation infrastructure
  • carbon emissions
  • accessibility
  • independence
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