Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A lot of people believe in the differences between
men
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and
women
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, especially when it comes to work. In
this
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essay, I will give my reasons and explain the extent to which I agree.
To begin
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with,
men
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are really different from
women
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.
Men
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are masculine, and
women
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are feminine energy.
Therefore
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, when it comes to jobs,
men
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are more suitable for a lot of work.
For instance
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, in the construction industry, because
men
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have a good physical body, they can carry heavy materials and equipment.
Also
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, the
job
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of a leader can solve problems without being occupied by their emotions.
Thus
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, they can perform well in a realistic manner and provide strict rules for the
job
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.
In addition
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to that,
men
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are the main providers of the house, who carry their family and children.
On the other hand
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,
women
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these days have become more competitive in jobs too. Unlike before in the early years,
women
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are not allowed to do the things that they want to do.
For example
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,
all
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not all women are
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women
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are not allowed to vote and study.
Thus
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, being a housewife is the only thing that they can do. But now
women
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are different; they move forward and join society, they can be at work like teachers, nurses, or guidance
counselors
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counsellors
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, where empathy is much more needed.
To conclude
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, there are certain points that
women
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are still lacking in and are not suitable for a
job
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like leadership, because most of the time,
women
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are emotional and sensitive. When it comes to a
job
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like that,
men
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are more preferred, and they can do a lot of things in realistic and practical ways.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but your opinion is not fully balanced. You should show more clearly how far you agree or disagree from the start and keep this same line in all parts.
task response
For task response, some ideas are too general. Add more clear and real examples to explain why some jobs need skill, not only gender.
task response
For task response, be careful with very broad claims about men and women. These points need more support, or they may sound too simple.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. But some sentences do not link smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way. Words like 'therefore', 'for example', and 'on the other hand' should connect ideas more naturally.
coherence and cohesion
Some paragraphs mix different points together. Try to keep one main idea in each paragraph and then support it with one or two clear reasons.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion, so the reader can understand your main view.
task response
You include examples of jobs for men and women, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, and this gives it a clear overall shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'to begin with', 'on the other hand', and 'to conclude', which helps guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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