The chart below gives information about global population percentage and distribution of wealth by region

The chart below gives information about global population percentage and distribution of wealth by region
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The
date
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data

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shows a brief description of
global
Correct article usage
the global

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population
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percentage and distribution of
wealth
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by region.
Overall
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, it can be seen that
China
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has the most
population
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share
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while
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North
America
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contributed the most
for
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to

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the
wealth
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share
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.
China
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contributed most of the
population
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share
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. Among the eight regions,
China
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’s
population
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share
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is about more than 20%, followed by other
Asia-Pacific
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countries, India, Europe and Africa with more than 10% of
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population
Correct article usage
the population

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share
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.
On the other hand
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, regions with less than 10% of
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population
Correct article usage
the population

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share
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includes
Change the verb form
include

The singular verb includes does not appear to agree with the plural subject regions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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Latin
America
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and
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean

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, North
America
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and Rich
Asia-Pacific
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respectively.
However
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, in terms of
wealth
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share
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, North
America
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presented the highest with nearly 35%. It is
then
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followed by Europe with 30%,
Rich
Correct word choice
and Rich

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Asia-Pacific
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with almost 25% respectively. The rest have almost 5% of the
wealth
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share
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

namely Latin
America
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and Caribbean, other
Asia-Pacific
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,
China
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, Africa and India. In conclusion,
China
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has the most
population
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share
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but has the lowest
wealth
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share
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, North
America
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contributed the highest
wealth
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share
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but one of the lowest
population
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share
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, wealth, china, share, america, asia-pacific with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global population percentage
  • distribution of wealth
  • region
  • discrepancy
  • notable patterns
  • breakdown
  • share of global wealth
  • economic policies
  • historical factors
  • resource distribution
  • global economics
  • social stability
  • policy making
  • interventions
  • imbalances
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