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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billioin) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three catagories, from 1995-2002. Summarises the information by selection and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billioin) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three catagories, from 1995-2002. Summarises the information by selection and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #billioin #telephone #uk #three #catagories #summarises #information #selection #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates data on
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 figure of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of telephone calls in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 based on three
differrent
Correct your spelling
different
 classifications from 1995 to 2002. The unit given is in
Use synonyms
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, mobiles all calls had a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
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 surge over the recorded period ,
whereas
Linking Words
 local fixed line started at a higher
point
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then
Linking Words
 had a drop
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the mentioned time. Looking at the upward trends, mobiles all calls stood at 2
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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, which was the lowest compared to
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 two in the initial year.
However
Linking Words
, in the following year, it had a slight rise to 5
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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, at which
point
Use synonyms
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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a peak
point
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, accounting for 45
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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 in 2002. National and international fixed calls fell a close
second,
Linking Words
it had a steady rise over seven years with 60
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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 in 2002. Regarding local fixed calls, it stood at 72
billion
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minutes
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 in 1995
then
Linking Words
 reached a peak
point
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 at 90
billion
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minutes
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 in 1998 before havering for two years. In 2000, it experienced a decline from 90 to 72
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billion, point with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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