IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the internet has made it possible to experience the world without leaving home, while others argue that travelling is still essential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The internet has become a convenient means of experiencing the world virtually, which allows
people
Use synonyms
 to explore diverse communities and cultures from the comfort of their homes.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that experiencing different areas in reality is more effective. I strongly believe that visiting cities in person is more interesting because individuals can engage in real-world activities and develop a strong sense of connection. There are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 choose to explore countries online, especially students who want to learn about different regions.
Although
Linking Words
 visiting different communities in person is more exciting, it may
also
Linking Words
 bring a financial burden and be time-consuming.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to save money and time, students often prefer to see cities on websites.
For instance
Linking Words
, if some students want to learn about various countries, they can explore them online, which enables them to save both time and money.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 allows them to access articles and news about those regions to gain more knowledge. Many families still prefer to travel to different countries even though they have internet access, because they not only want to see the place but
also
Linking Words
 experience local traditions, food and cultural events. If
people
Use synonyms
 try new food
while
Linking Words
 visiting a new place, they will certainly feel connected and develop a sense of belonging.
This
Linking Words
 will allow them to enjoy more, which may become their lasting memory.
For example
Linking Words
, most individuals travel to various nations on their anniversaries and birthdays, which helps them to create a special impression and see the places in real life.
In addition
Linking Words
, some couples decide to have a destination wedding, which will create a very memorable occasion for them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the internet has the power to show everything online, it will never replace the real feeling of visiting nations in reality.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that
people
Use synonyms
 should experience locations themselves so that they can learn and enjoy the traditions and cultural aspects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make your task response stronger by giving equal detail to both views and state your own clear opinion in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence cohesion
Improve how you link ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use connecting words to show how ideas fit together. Keep each paragraph to one main idea.
task response
You show a clear view of the issue and give an ending opinion.
coherence
The essay has good paragraphing and uses linking words to guide the reader.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: