More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

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Some would argue that buying more vehicles in developing countries become more popular for the first time. The primary cause of
this
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phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon

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is influence of the
western
Capitalize word
Western

The word western should be capitalized in this context.

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culture and the viable solution is to start
publicity
Correct article usage
a publicity

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campaign. Western culture affected
whole
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the whole

It appears that the phrase whole planet does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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planet and made consumer society the main role model for every country in the world.
That is
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to say, in developing
countries
Add a comma
countries,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in developing countries. Consider adding a comma.

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people tend to copy the lifestyle of the European citizens to feel
themself
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apply

It appears that the reflexive pronoun themself may change the meaning of the sentence when used with the verb feel. Consider removing it.

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more wealthy. Because of that in a large
amount
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number

It appears that the quantifier a large amount does not fit with the countable noun societies. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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of societies having a
car
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become
main
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the main

It appears that the phrase main attribute does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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attribute of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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richness.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Kazakhstan husband must
have to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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buy a
fossil fuel
Add a hyphen
fossil-fuel

It seems that fossil fuel is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to impress his future wife.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

results in
obsession
Correct article usage
the obsession

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to be in awe of having
luxury
Add an article
a luxury

The noun phrase luxury car seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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car
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and buying it even if you do not have
need
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a need
the need

The noun phrase need seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to. A
long term
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long-term

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solution for that predicament is to educate young people about the dangers of buying unnecessary things when they do not need to, which can be
cars
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Children in schools could be taught about how to live without
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

car
Add an article
a car

The noun phrase car seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and how to use public transport
for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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your own and show its advantages over
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

likely to teach their parents the things they learned in schools and parents would gladly appreciate that initiative and change their own opinion about resident vehicles because of
influence
Correct article usage
the influence

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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their offspring gave them.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the Netherlands scholars are taught about
negative
Add an article
the negative

The noun phrase negative impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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impact of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and their harmful
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects

It seems that effect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on our
planet
Change noun form
planet's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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ecosystem and marine life and the government survey showed that their usage of
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

decreased
for
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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68% in total in the two years. In conclusion, buying too many
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become
issue
Add an article
an issue

The noun phrase issue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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because of
impact
Add an article
the impact

The noun phrase impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of the
western
Capitalize word
Western

The word western should be capitalized in this context.

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culture,but it can be fixed by educating young people about the problems vehicles cause.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt's demands by identifying the problem and proposing solutions, but the explanation of problems and solutions could be more in-depth. Consider adding more detailed examples and further expanding on how the solutions could effectively solve the identified issues.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized and the essay has a clear structure. However, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall cohesion. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
language accuracy
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the readability of the essay. Proofreading can help catch these issues. Revise for subject-verb agreement and more accurate word choices.
task response
The essay correctly identifies the influence of Western culture as a cause and suggests a viable educational campaign as a solution. Providing specific examples like the situation in Kazakhstan and the Netherlands strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
What to do next:
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