IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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In
this
Linking Words
 competitive world, junior workers tend to look for a better mentor to learn from the best. It is debated that individuals should learn from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
peers
Use synonyms
 rather than the upper class. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement and people should learn from the experts. First and foremost, learning from the same groups might exacerbate the process. Experiences and talents are the most significant qualities in order to teach others.
For instance
Linking Words
, students need their teachers to provide structured learning and
gains
Change the verb form
gain
show examples
 more knowledge;
likewise
Linking Words
, new employees need senior workers or supervisors to set a clear objective and mentorship to produce
a
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apply
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better productivity
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the company. A lack of all those
experstises
Correct your spelling
experiences
 might be difficult for
peers
Use synonyms
 to deliver to others.
In addition
Linking Words
, experienced leaders offer valuable insights that
peers
Use synonyms
 cannot provide.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to
broader
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broaden
show examples
 their perspectives and
sharping
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sharpen
show examples
 their skills to make it efficient.
For example
Linking Words
, older people often offer their wisdom through
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
 and hardship.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making it easier for the starters to understand, which
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 the motivation to learn. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly disagree with the opinion that individuals should seek the same level
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 to learn.
This
Linking Words
 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
peers
Use synonyms
 would not have the same level of experiences, knowledge and insights, which can exacerbate the whole learning process.

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task achievement
Work on selecting more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments. This will enhance the task response and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, adding connecting phrases where necessary.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, providing a clear stance on the issue.
supported main points
The main points of the essay are generally clear and supported by examples, albeit with room for improvement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer learning
  • comfortable environment
  • open communication
  • collaboration
  • shared experiences
  • relevant examples
  • camaraderie
  • motivation
  • terminology
  • wealth of experience
  • expertise
  • broader perspective
  • structured learning
  • clear objectives
  • monitor progress
  • valuable insights
  • mentorship
  • professional development
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