IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these 2 opinions / positions.

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Space
Use synonyms
exploration
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 plays a significant role in our life.
Although
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 it could prevent crushes with massive stones, there are other issues which
also
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 include enormous amounts of
money
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. Studies of the universe have significant advantages for our society since we would be able to escape from crashes with subjects
such
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 as massive stones. Organizations that spend their finances on
space
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exploration
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 provide us with not only safety but
also
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 a warning If there are any potential dangers.
For instance
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, when there were crushes with stones, global organizations acknowledged us as quickly as possible to be located far from the stone.
Thus
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,
space
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exploration
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 is
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
.
Whereas
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 the learning field of outer
space
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 is supportable, there are more serious problems
such
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 as climate change or a poor continent of Africa, which need a huge amount of
money
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, but are not supplied by it.
This
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 leads to regrets from Inhabitants who want to concentrate on hot topics through which they go in their daily life,
instead
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 of the
space
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.
For example
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, studies of the universe involve billions of dollars for equipment,
while
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 citizens of Africa would remain steadily with the absence of food or healthcare.
Therefore
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,
space
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 explorations could seem a waste of
money
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, since there is pressure from citizens. In conclusion,
space
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exploration
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 leads to enormous benefits and keeps us safe from danger, but regrets from people who suffer from several difficulties will not allow us to invest
money
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 briefly. If we did not have global issues on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth, we would invest government finances without guilt in some poor areas.

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more cohesive structure for your arguments. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports a central thesis and transitions smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and elaborate on them to better illustrate your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Focus on improving the clarity and accuracy of your ideas. Sometimes the ideas presented are a bit confusing or lack specificity, which can affect overall comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well and considers both viewpoints thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
You provided an introduction and a conclusion, maintaining a clear structure overall.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good attempt at supporting main points with examples, even though more specifics could enhance understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological breakthroughs
  • satellite communications
  • global perspective
  • immediate needs
  • disproportionate
  • terrestrial technologies
  • pressing issues
  • fundamentally change
  • collective human challenges
  • earth's place within it
  • emergency response systems
  • studying phenomena
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