Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these 2 opinions / positions.
Space
exploration
plays a significant role in our life. Although
it could prevent crushes with massive stones, there are other issues which also
include enormous amounts of money
.
Studies of the universe have significant advantages for our society since we would be able to escape from crashes with subjects such
as massive stones. Organizations that spend their finances on space
exploration
provide us with not only safety but also
a warning If there are any potential dangers. For instance
, when there were crushes with stones, global organizations acknowledged us as quickly as possible to be located far from the stone. Thus
, space
exploration
is meaningfull
.
Correct your spelling
meaningful
Whereas
the learning field of outer space
is supportable, there are more serious problems such
as climate change or a poor continent of Africa, which need a huge amount of money
, but are not supplied by it. This
leads to regrets from Inhabitants who want to concentrate on hot topics through which they go in their daily life, instead
of the space
. For example
, studies of the universe involve billions of dollars for equipment, while
citizens of Africa would remain steadily with the absence of food or healthcare. Therefore
, space
explorations could seem a waste of money
, since there is pressure from citizens.
In conclusion, space
exploration
leads to enormous benefits and keeps us safe from danger, but regrets from people who suffer from several difficulties will not allow us to invest money
briefly. If we did not have global issues on the
Earth, we would invest government finances without guilt in some poor areas.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more cohesive structure for your arguments. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports a central thesis and transitions smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and elaborate on them to better illustrate your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Focus on improving the clarity and accuracy of your ideas. Sometimes the ideas presented are a bit confusing or lack specificity, which can affect overall comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well and considers both viewpoints thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
You provided an introduction and a conclusion, maintaining a clear structure overall.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good attempt at supporting main points with examples, even though more specifics could enhance understanding.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?