Nowadays nations are becoming more intresting and developing better thanks to the mixing of diffrent nationalities and cultures? To what extent do you agree or disgree?

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Today's world has become a small village because
of
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apply
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multiple nationalities are seen
on
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in
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the same place and
this
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can
be happened
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happen
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due to
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advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
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of technology which has made
nations
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advance and interesting. I believe the same as
above
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the above
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notion and will explicate some reason why I
am agree
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agree
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with
Correct article usage
the above
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above given
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above-given
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statement.
To begin
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with, multicultural
nations
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obtain some opportunities to celebrate different kinds of festivals which seem really interesting and connect different
people
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from various cultures.
For example
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,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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festival Diwali which is celebrated in November connects all walks of
people
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. It not only gives enjoyment but
also
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bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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people
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together despite cultural differences.
Besides
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this
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,
people
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started working with other nationalities to develop their business worldwide
due to
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neglecting cultural differences and accepting other cultures.
Secondly
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, it is always
thought
Verb problem
wondered
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why has education system improved in
this
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modern era
?
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.
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This
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is because Schools and universities with diverse cultural backgrounds can provide a more comprehensive and inclusive curriculum, broadening students' horizons and making them more well-rounded individuals.
In addition
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to
this
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, students gain multicultural knowledge in the school and assist its nation to develop more by implementing new ideas with
other cultural partner
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another cultural partner
other cultural partners
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who
also
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have different
approach
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approaches
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to accomplish good revenue. In conclusion,
although
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multicultural societies can have misunderstandings
due to
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language
barrier
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barriers
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, most of the
nations
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are becoming intriguing and getting profits with the betterment of it. It is hoped that
this
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trend will bring more opportunities
to
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for
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many
nations
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to develop in the future.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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Grammar
Work on improving sentence structures to avoid minor grammatical errors. This will enhance the overall clarity of your writing.
Content
Try to incorporate more specific examples to further strengthen your arguments. This can make your essay more compelling and detailed.
Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. This will help in maintaining reader engagement.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in establishing a strong framework for your arguments.
Content
You have effectively highlighted the benefits of multiculturalism, such as celebrating diverse festivals and improving educational systems, which aligns well with the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • diverse society
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • social cohesion
  • multinational teams
  • educational benefits
  • integration challenges
  • cultural identity
  • homogenized society
  • language barriers
  • misunderstandings
  • international relations
  • global outlook
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