Nowadays nations are becoming more intresting and developing better thanks to the mixing of diffrent nationalities and cultures? To what extent do you agree or disgree?

Today's world has become a small village because
of
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apply
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multiple nationalities are seen
on
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in
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the same place and
this
can
be happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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due to
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
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of technology which has made
nations
advance and interesting. I believe the same as
above
Correct article usage
the above
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notion and will explicate some reason why I
am agree
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agree
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with
Correct article usage
the above
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above given
Add a hyphen
above-given
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statement.
To begin
with, multicultural
nations
obtain some opportunities to celebrate different kinds of festivals which seem really interesting and connect different
people
from various cultures.
For example
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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festival Diwali which is celebrated in November connects all walks of
people
. It not only gives enjoyment but
also
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
people
together despite cultural differences.
Besides
this
,
people
started working with other nationalities to develop their business worldwide
due to
neglecting cultural differences and accepting other cultures.
Secondly
, it is always
thought
Verb problem
wondered
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why has education system improved in
this
modern era
?
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.
show examples
This
is because Schools and universities with diverse cultural backgrounds can provide a more comprehensive and inclusive curriculum, broadening students' horizons and making them more well-rounded individuals.
In addition
to
this
, students gain multicultural knowledge in the school and assist its nation to develop more by implementing new ideas with
other cultural partner
Change the wording
another cultural partner
other cultural partners
show examples
who
also
have different
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
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to accomplish good revenue. In conclusion,
although
multicultural societies can have misunderstandings
due to
language
barrier
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barriers
show examples
, most of the
nations
are becoming intriguing and getting profits with the betterment of it. It is hoped that
this
trend will bring more opportunities
to
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for
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many
nations
to develop in the future.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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Structure
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Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in establishing a strong framework for your arguments.
Content
You have effectively highlighted the benefits of multiculturalism, such as celebrating diverse festivals and improving educational systems, which aligns well with the task prompt.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • diverse society
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • social cohesion
  • multinational teams
  • educational benefits
  • integration challenges
  • cultural identity
  • homogenized society
  • language barriers
  • misunderstandings
  • international relations
  • global outlook
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