Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing, Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals argue that
competition
at
Change preposition
in
workplace
, at school, and in daily life is beneficial, Correct article usage
the workplace
while
others advocate for increased cooperation
over competition
among each other.In my opinion, I tend to believe that cooperation
is more crucial than competition
since it will enhance the relationship and trust among the participants.
The competition
drives individuals for
excellence. Racing could foster the employees and the students for continuous improvement in their performance and skills.Change preposition
to
Furthermore
, the financial incentives play a huge role in the progression of the company and developing
Replace the word
development
creativity
among the participants. All these factors provide a successful environment for progression. Studies show Change preposition
of creativity
competition
boosts employees' performance and motivations
in the workplace.
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
On the other hand
, collaborative success has a significant influence on teamwork. By sharing
the experiences and Change preposition
Sharing
the
knowledge among the workers or the students, Correct article usage
apply
that
will impact positively Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
our society. People Change preposition
apply
could
overcome the challenges in their life just by simple advice. Wrong verb form
can
In addition
, a cooperative environment promotes relationships and trustworthiness, and that will lead to sustainable gain which is convenient for the stakeholders and the employees.For example
, research indicates that cooperation
enhances the
productivity and team cohesion Correct article usage
apply
at
the workplace.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
cooperation
among individuals offers positive relationships and builds trust. I believe collaboration should be considered more than competition
for a convenient environment away from competitive struggles.Submitted by alshaikhlimustafa56 on
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task achievement
To improve your essay, ensure that your main points are evenly supported with relevant and specific examples. It's crucial to not only present arguments but also to back them up with real-life situations or studies, which you already did to some extent but can improve on.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more transition words like ‘However,’ ‘Additionally,’ and ‘Therefore’ to improve the readability and logical structure of your essay. This will help in making your ideas connected and easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, creating a complete structure for your essay. This makes it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay showcases clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph has a focused topic which helps in maintaining the reader’s interest.
supported main points
You have successfully provided balanced viewpoints on the topic, discussing both competition and collaboration effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.