Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing, Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals argue that
competition
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
, at school, and in daily life is beneficial,
while
Linking Words
others advocate for increased
cooperation
Use synonyms
over
competition
Use synonyms
among each other.In my opinion, I tend to believe that
cooperation
Use synonyms
is more crucial than
competition
Use synonyms
since it will enhance the relationship and trust among the participants. The
competition
Use synonyms
drives individuals
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
excellence. Racing could foster the employees and the students for continuous improvement in their performance and skills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the financial incentives play a huge role in the progression of the company and
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
creativity
Change preposition
of creativity
show examples
among the participants. All these factors provide a successful environment for progression. Studies show
competition
Use synonyms
boosts employees' performance and
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
in the workplace.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, collaborative success has a significant influence on teamwork.
By sharing
Change preposition
Sharing
show examples
the experiences and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge among the workers or the students,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will impact positively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our society. People
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
overcome the challenges in their life just by simple advice.
In addition
Linking Words
, a cooperative environment promotes relationships and trustworthiness, and that will lead to sustainable gain which is convenient for the stakeholders and the employees.
For example
Linking Words
, research indicates that
cooperation
Use synonyms
enhances
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and team cohesion
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the workplace. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooperation
Use synonyms
among individuals offers positive relationships and builds trust. I believe collaboration should be considered more than
competition
Use synonyms
for a convenient environment away from competitive struggles.
Submitted by alshaikhlimustafa56 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your essay, ensure that your main points are evenly supported with relevant and specific examples. It's crucial to not only present arguments but also to back them up with real-life situations or studies, which you already did to some extent but can improve on.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more transition words like ‘However,’ ‘Additionally,’ and ‘Therefore’ to improve the readability and logical structure of your essay. This will help in making your ideas connected and easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, creating a complete structure for your essay. This makes it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay showcases clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph has a focused topic which helps in maintaining the reader’s interest.
supported main points
You have successfully provided balanced viewpoints on the topic, discussing both competition and collaboration effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: