Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It is often believed that spending evenings and weekends with
co-workers
for socializing is beneficial Use synonyms
while
other Linking Words
people
are pessimistic about Use synonyms
this
with more importance on complete isolation from others. I support the former view, for Linking Words
people
are able to have a more exciting Use synonyms
life
with different activities regardless of the potential advantage of incredible progress in academic achievement.
On the one hand, there are more benefits to those who spend with their colleagues on evenings and weekends as they have a more stimulating Use synonyms
life
through various activities. Use synonyms
In other words
, they are encouraged to challenge new sports and hobbies, which broaden their understanding as well. Linking Words
For instance
, I have gained the skill of diving since qualified Linking Words
co-workers
kindly taught me how to dive deep and stabilize myself in a tide, allowing me to explore the mysterious world under the ocean. Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
such
intimate relationship with Linking Words
co-workers
makes Use synonyms
life
more thrilling and adventurous, for which I would never have had the opportunity on my own.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, living in isolation may be a suitable environment to promote academic performance Linking Words
due to
a lack of distraction from others. Indeed, an excessive amount of private time spent with colleagues can discourage Linking Words
people
from studying in depth, which makes it harder for them to achieve a big goal in the future. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, complete separation from them encourages their full commitment to research and learning, leading to a possibility of a surprising discovery like a famous scientist including Einstein, who is known to have spent most of his Linking Words
life
in solitary. Use synonyms
Therefore
, those who avoid contact with other Linking Words
people
tend to increase their knowledge and skills by devoting themselves to reading books, establishing a theory and experimenting by themselves.
In conclusion, I agree that Use synonyms
people
should spend their private time with Use synonyms
co-workers
, who often encourage them to try unfamiliar activities, making Use synonyms
life
more exciting than spending time on their own. Use synonyms
However
, complete isolation may be recommended to promote academic performance since accumulated work and study are made possible.Linking Words
Submitted by mizuho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task, discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, ensure that each perspective is equally balanced in terms of depth and explanation. The second viewpoint could be elaborated slightly to match the detail of the first.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider improving the flow between paragraphs with more linkers to enhance coherence, though it is already good. For example, use phrases like 'On the other hand' more strategically and perhaps summarize the opposing view briefly before making your point.
task achievement
Very clear and comprehensive response with relevant and specific examples, such as the diving experience, which effectively supports the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph clearly contributing to the overall argument. Introduction and conclusion are present and summarise the views effectively.