Due to the effects of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a positive process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Over the past few decades,
people
Correct article usage
the people
are
Verb problem
has
increasing
significantly day by day, affect to to the Wrong verb form
increased
culture
of some countries
. Therefore
, some people believe this
is a positive methods
, Change the noun form
method
whilist
others Correct your spelling
while
seems
that Change the verb form
seem
this
is a threat to culture
identity. Replace the word
cultural
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints before a conclusion is derived.
Due to
the effects of globalization, many countries
also
have been
developed to survive in Unnecessary verb
apply
this
modern world, one
of them Correct word choice
and one
are
learning Change the verb form
is
Correct article usage
the culturer
culturer
of many other Correct your spelling
culture
cultures
countries
. It is influence
and Wrong verb form
influences
apply
in many Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
aspect
of life Change to a plural noun
aspects
Correct word choice
and bring
bring
us a lot of advantages. Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
For instance
, many facility
and Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
building
are built by many Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
architecter
Correct your spelling
architecture
architects
Correct word choice
and foreigner
foreigner
, many abroad Change to a plural noun
foreigners
restaurant
are becoming increasingly Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
demontstate
in Correct your spelling
demonstrate
demonstrated
big
Add an article
the big
a big
city
. Fix the agreement mistake
cities
Moreover
, the vehicles we use everyday
Replace the word
every day
also
has
the original abroad and we are affected by their greatly eye-catching costume. The Correct subject-verb agreement
have
way
are influenced the
Change preposition
by the
culture
of other countries
help
our Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
country
involve
in Change the form of the verb
involved
a
incredible.
But other Change the article
an
proponants
are convinced Correct your spelling
proponents
that is
one of the main way
make our Change to a plural noun
ways
country
forget about our cultural
. The effects of globalization could make the general public interested in other Replace the word
culture
cultur
and not enjoy Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
very
much in their own Correct pronoun usage
it very
way
. We should apply other cultural
Replace the word
cultures
in
some Change preposition
to
extents
. Fix the agreement mistake
extent
Besides
, just keeping
being affected by others is making Verb problem
apply
out
Correct your spelling
our
country
being
develop greatly. Unnecessary verb
apply
That is
the reason why other people do not encourage it.
In conclusion, on balance
I think that learning Add a comma
balance,
other
Change preposition
about other
culture
or being Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
effected
by globalization is just one of the main Correct your spelling
affected
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
help
our Fix the infinitive
to help
country
develop in
some Change preposition
to
extents
. We Fix the agreement mistake
extent
also
have to preserve our
Change the word
the
culture
that the
Change the word
our
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
create
and Wrong verb form
created
keeping
it Wrong verb form
keep
generation
to generation.Change preposition
from generation
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coherence cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs need a clearer structure. Attempt to separate your ideas more distinctly and use linking phrases to connect them smoothly.
task achievement
Try to stay on topic and avoid making unnecessary deviations. Additionally, ensure you fully develop each main point with relevant examples.
task achievement
You've made an effort to discuss both viewpoints and presented a balanced opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion which helps frame your essay effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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