In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasis #products #development

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In contemporary times, companies tend to focus on

notion

Add an article

the notion

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of novelty in their commercial promotions. I claim that their purpose is

convince

Change the verb form

to convince

convincing

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customers to purchase their product and in my opinion drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

trend outweigh its benefits. In today’s world,

business

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the business

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sector is extremely competitive.

Hence

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, manufacturers have to update their goods more often. In

this

Linking Words

way

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way,

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uniqueness may help them stay ahead of the race and surpass the competitors.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, changes

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

new

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

show examples

improve

Wrong verb form

improved

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality and

develop

Replace the word

development

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

benefits catch customer’s attention,

thus

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can lead to more

demanding

Replace the word

demand

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that will bring more profit for that

company

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, Apple frequently

offer

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offers

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cutting-edge mobile phones with the efficiency of the latest technology that

attract

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attracts

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buyers, and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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this

Linking Words

company

Use synonyms

the most successful sample in their business.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

contrary to popular opinion, new isn’t always the best. A number of fresh improvements could bring failure for the producers.

For instance

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, in my

hometown

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hometown,

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plenty of home appliances

face

Verb problem

apply

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malfunction after a

while

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that their

company

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change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

the prototype

for creating

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to create

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something modern,

however

Linking Words

, that invention

leading

Wrong verb form

led

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technical

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a technical

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defect

Fix the agreement mistake

defects

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Moreover

Linking Words

establish

Wrong verb form

establishing

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the state-of-the-art version of a

manufacture

Replace the word

manufacturer

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usually

cost

Correct subject-verb agreement

costs

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a fortune and

also

Linking Words

it is

hazard

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a hazard

the hazard

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. If something goes wrong, the

company

Use synonyms

will face a financial loss that can be really harmful. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

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market left

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

businesses

Change preposition

with no

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choice but to become promoted day after day, they should try to beat

this

Linking Words

attitude and concentrate on offering goods

with

Change preposition

show examples

the best quality, whether they are new or not.

Submitted by mahtaesmailian on Wed Aug 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a relevant response to the question, but some points could be more clearly developed. Try to expand on your ideas and provide deeper analysis. Ensure that every paragraph clearly supports your overall thesis.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured, some paragraphs could be better organized to improve the logical flow. Use clear topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Additionally, work on eliminating run-on sentences and punctuation errors to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which are well-connected to the overall argument. This helps give your writing a cohesive feel.

task achievement

The example about Apple is relevant and effectively illustrates your point. Including specific examples strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive development or negative development?

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many part of the world, it is common for one parent to stay and home and raise a newborn child while the other works full-time to earn money. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?