Some people belive that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People today live in the digital era, where we can get everything only from a smart device. Some people think printed
books
are no longer important as all writings can be saved electronically
while
another group disagrees.
Read
Wrong verb form
Reading
show examples
a
book
from
device
Add an article
the device
a device
show examples
instead
of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
could have a number of benefits.
Firstly
,
this
would definitely protect and save our planet, since printed
books
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a collection of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
and paper comes from
trees
.
Therefore
, by not cutting
trees
, we
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
to save
Change preposition
in saving
show examples
trees
and
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
Rephrase
apply
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also
.
Secondly
, by not
printed
Change the form of the verb
printing
show examples
the
books
it would decrease the price of
books
. Consumers would buy the
books
and can save the budget for the other things. It would make
sale
Add an article
the sale
a sale
show examples
of
books
as increase as the author’s wealth.
Moreover
, from
reader’s
Correct article usage
the reader’s
show examples
perspective, it would make their life easier by
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
to bring
a heavy
Correct the article-noun agreement
a heavy book
heavy books
show examples
books
, they just need a device to do anything.
Nevertheless
, there are some
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
that still need
a printed
Correct the article-noun agreement
a printed book
printed books
show examples
books
.
Firstly
, it is
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
feel to read a digital
book
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
printed
Add an article
a printed
the printed
show examples
book
, from my experience,
for instance
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
became lazier if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to read a digital
book
than
printed
Add an article
a printed
the printed
show examples
book
.
Furthermore
, it is
possibly
Change the word
possible
show examples
because
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
eye has a limitation
to see
Change preposition
in seeing
show examples
a monitor, our
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
become weak if looking at the monitor too long.
SO
Correct your spelling
So
show examples
, it is healthier to read a printed
book
than a digital
book
. In
Conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
Conclusion
show examples
, I personally believe
to remove
Change preposition
in removing
show examples
printed
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
and
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
to digital
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
to save the earth.
Therefore
, the government should find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an alternative source
instead
of
trees
to produce
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen coherence by improving the flow between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph builds on the previous one logically.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points. For instance, elaborating on how digital books are more environmentally friendly could make the argument stronger.
Language Accuracy
Work on grammar and sentence structure to avoid ambiguity. Improve the use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow the argument.
Task Achievement
Addresses both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion, which fulfills the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use of linking phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore' aids in the logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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