The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending
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The pie chart illustrates data about the places of
dance
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classes
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and the line graph depicts the
number
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of attendees of different varieties of dances by their ages in a city in Australia. It is clearly observed from the charts that private studios constituted the highest proportion of
dance
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students
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, ballet
dance
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accounted for the highest
number
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of
students
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among under 11-year-old kids and modern
dance
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was the most popular among kids who are between 11 and
16-year-old
Correct your spelling
16 years old
. Private studios accounted for the highest proportion of
students
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with 48%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage of
students
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chose the college-based studios with only 10%. The second largest proportion of
students
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went to school
halls
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hall
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classes
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with only 24%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the share of community halls and others was 18% of total
dance
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students
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. The most popular
dance
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among
students
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under 11 was ballet with the
number
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of 600.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
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of under 11
students
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attended modern
dance
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classes
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with the
number
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of 300.
Besides
Linking Words
, modern
dance
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accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
highest
number
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of 11-16-year-old
students
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with just over 500. And, the smallest
number
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of 11-16-year-old
students
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participated in ballet
dance
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classes
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with the
number
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of nearly 300.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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of tap
dance
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under 11-year-old
students
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was approximately 450 and that of 11-
16-year-old
Fix the agreement mistake
16-year-olds
show examples
was nearly 420.
Submitted by keyhan.mp on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, number, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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