Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Some think that individuals who have committed offences are likely to continue engaging in
such
behaviour. Personally, I totally disagree with this
development and I will explain why in this
essay.
To begin
with, there are a large number of people
becoming criminals
these days; however
, that does not mean that everyone is looking to continue committing crimes. If a person breaks the law and then
gets caught, it is probably true that most part of such
people
will stand correct. For example
, in Norway there is a prison called ‘from bad to good’ and statistically 90% of criminals
become good people
after entering this
prison. Thus
, I would prefer to explain that anyone can change his or her life at any time, so people
cannot just say that an individual who committed a crime is going to continue it.
In addition
, although
,in this
modern era, some people
may try to break the law, they will subsequently
face problems with the police and then
go to jail. This
is due to
the fact that many countries have good security and police services, which can not only prevent the increase of criminals
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
give a decent punishment. For instance
, Russia has one of the strictest prisons in the world, the Black Dolphin, in which criminals
are struggling seriously, taking a lot of punishments and so on, but in the end, most of them are becoming great people
. Due to
a
good police service and security, I do not think that Remove the article
apply
criminals
will always be criminals
.
In conclusion, I completely disagree that people
who commit a crime will be criminals
forever, because, nowadays, humankind has plenty amount of impactful jails and also
punishment systems.Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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task achievement
Your response is comprehensive and addresses the prompt effectively. However, there are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that disrupt the flow.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your supporting points with more depth to provide a richer argument. Greater use of specific data or examples could elevate the quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical flow between ideas. Also, the paragraphs could benefit from more connective words or phrases, which will enhance the readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are generally well-supported. However, there is room for improvement in the coherence and cohesion between individual sentences and points within paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly, presenting a clear stance and relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with distinct introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
task achievement
You provided specific examples that were relevant to your arguments, which helped support your points.