Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that each nation should decline the intake of natural fuels like oil and gas and the global community must act instantly to impel it.
This
essay will totally agree with that statement because consuming too many
Correct quantifier usage
much
fuel
can lead to global warming and the waste can harm human health.
Firstly
, the important thing is that the main reason for global warming is consuming a lot of fuel
. Additionally
, from consuming this
fossil, air getting more and more dirty and of that influence nitrogen layer becomes weaker, which leads to the growth of temperature. For example
, for many years now scientists from around the world have been telling us that this
is the biggest danger for all humanity and one of the ways to stop it is to prevent people from consuming a large amount of fuel
in our transport.
Secondly
, this
can be very dangerous for human health and the body. In the 21st century, there are a lot of diseases that are influenced by dirty air. For instance
, my friend Arman had one of these diseases and doctors say that this
disease is because of dirty air and
in our day a huge amount of people have illnesses from Correct word choice
apply
this
problem. For that reason, people must stop using way a lot of fuel
and take electric cars to prevent it.
In conclusion, consuming
of Replace the word
the consumption
fuel
must be reduced because it is very dangerous for humanity and can lead to big catastrophic
like global warming.Replace the word
catastrophes
Submitted by Kawasaki on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, use more varied linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph clearly expresses a single main idea to avoid any potential confusion or repetition.
task achievement
Extend your discussion with more specific examples and data. This will help to provide a fuller response to the question.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are fully developed. Try to delve deeper into each point to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well by discussing the negative impacts of fossil fuel consumption and providing relevant examples.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?