IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the carts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the carts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #carts #show
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The
chars
Correct your spelling
charts
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 illustrate that
The
Correct your spelling
They
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 give information on the police budget during
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table provides where the money came from and the carts show how it was distributed
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the table
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
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 rate during to 2018
while
Linking Words
 ,the pie chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 information about how the money was spent it is rose salaries ( officers and staff ) According that what can be shown
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is police budget from 2018 increased
national
Correct article usage
the national
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gonverment
Correct your spelling
government
 by
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
177.8
Change preposition
of 177.8
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 .
While
Linking Words
 the local taxes increased dramatically become
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
102.3
Change preposition
of 102.3
show examples
 percent.
Moreover
Linking Words
 the other sources
no
Verb problem
do not
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 change the rate it is 38 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the period
2018
Change preposition
in 2018
show examples
 increased average the total became 318.6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
While
Linking Words
 the pie illustrates information about
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 the money was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spent it is
disparity
Correct article usage
a disparity
show examples
 figure . The technology increased significantly becoming 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 on the other hand, buildings and transport
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is no change
while
Linking Words
 salaries ( officers and staff )
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 figure during to two years
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 very large numbers .
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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