The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?

These days, the percentage of people who are eating unhealthy sustenance without doing exercise has risen,

due to

many reasons

This

essay will discuss and draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, there are a lot of restaurants, and fast foodstuffs

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

become more common

Firstly

, there is something called delivery so they are making it easy for you to order eatables that

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a huge quantity of oil, which leads us to the main problem,

for instance

, Ahmed ordered victuals 5 days a week through apps, after 3 months he is wondering why am I acquiring weight?

Moreover

, the reason is obvious.

On the other hand

, The problems can be handled only if the government prevents the delivery apps; they

also

need to force people to eat healthy comestibles. and do some sports every day,

such

as running, jogging eating vegetables

according to

a renowned magazine related to health life has published that walking for half an hour each day could assist you to

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

weight

also

it will protect your body from kidney diseases.

In addition

, I believe that eating too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

provisions will cause problems I am not against rations but against the obese and overweight. For me, I eat 200 calories each day as an adult person and

then

I swim to burn them, I have found new research on the internet about obesity and burning viands the website says that swimming is the best and the fastest solution to get rid of the calories. In conclusion, I am delighted that I wrote

this

statement

Moreover

, people are now aware of what is happening in our community and how we can stand In the way of obesity.

Submitted by fnokgamer11 on Wed Aug 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay needs a clearer logical flow to enhance understanding. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Consider using connectors and transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Examples used should be more specific and detailed to better support your points. Instead of general statements, use quantifiable or precise examples.

task achievement

Work on providing a more thorough response to the task. Consider fully developing your ideas and addressing all aspects of the question in depth.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and give a general idea of your stance on the topic.

task achievement

You have included some examples to illustrate your points, which is good practice in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree.”

Some children speand a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In most countries around the world, children begin learning the English language at school from the primary level. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teaching the English language to children at an early age?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children doing paid work?

Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?