Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.

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It's hard to deny that nowadays
films
can be enjoyed on personal media
such
as phones and
such
fact leads impressional to generate their opinion that it's not necessary for us to go to the cinema today.
However
,
such
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies and it should be examined meticulously. As far as the economy and social experience are concerned, I strongly hold my opinion that
films
should be enjoyed in cinema. First and foremost, watching
movies
in theatre prompts economic development greatly. To be more specific, compared with buying a film on a private device, a movie ticket normally costs much more.
For example
, in 2022, despite there were significantly more online users, the income of theartres is almost 6 times the income of online
films
in China.
Therefore
, standing the point of film producers and industries, they'll be able to earn and
then
invest relevant fields much more,
thus
economy will increase a lot if more people choose to watch
movies
in cinemas.
Furthermore
, the fact that citizens with more social experience have higher possibilities of getting jobs indicates the fact that residents are supposed to enjoy
movies
with others in
theatres
. Take the case of most undergraduates: there's a survey illustrating that in China, university students who go to the
films
more frequently tend to get jobs more easily because their communication skills are improved when talking with strangers. Had it not for those to practice themselves in
theatres
, they'd never get work easily.
However
, watching
films
on personal devices
also
brings some advantages and the most obvious one is avoiding illness infection to protect physical health, to be more clearly,
theatres
are the places with high-density crowd and provide various opportunities for the virous to spread: in Japan, almost one third of the serious infection events happened in
theatres
during 2023.
Thus
if citizens use their own phone to enjoy
movies
, they can stay away from each other and not be limited by space. Based on the statement and analysis above, as economy, health are concerned, the advantages of watching
movies
in
films
outperform the drawbacks evidently and people are suggested to take the correct method.
Submitted by Phigros666 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task well by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion, some points could be more clearly articulated. For instance, elaborate more on how the social experience in cinemas can benefit individuals beyond job prospects.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although the ideas are well-organized, the flow can be made even better with clearer linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively setting up and summarizing the discussion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as income statistics and survey results, strengthens the argument and provides concrete support for the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Cost-effective
  • Technological advancements
  • Social outing
  • Immersive experience
  • Cinematic quality
  • Nostalgia
  • Tradition
  • Distractions
  • High-quality screens
  • Sound systems
  • Visual effects
  • Cinematography
  • Darkened environment
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