IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Enhance future life style Is this a negative or positive development?

There is no doubt that these days, there is a lot of effort
parents
Use synonyms
 put into their children to have a bright future. The question is, why, and what is the right thing to do? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to write what I believe is better. In terms of causes, the
child
Use synonyms
's brain is not designed to see the future and the consequences of their actions, and the lack ot family trust leads
parents
Use synonyms
 to push them hard. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that mothers' and fathers' sense of duty drives them to do all they can for the sake of their kids. To illustrate, in the kitchen it is rare to find a
child
Use synonyms
 by himself or herself alone cooking something.
In other words
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, they do not want that
child
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 to be harmed by any chance, and they prefer to help or even do the entire process.
However
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,
parents
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 should educate themselves about the obstacles that they may find in the process of raising a
child
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 and be patient as long as it takes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, failure is not that bad. The more energy they put in, the less a
child
Use synonyms
 puts less.
This
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 is because you are overreacting as
parents
Use synonyms
 to everything and leaving nothing for the
child
Use synonyms
 to experience. In conclusion,
although
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 I know being a parent is not as simple as I imagined.
However
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, there is no excuse for overthinking and being stressed and letting children be as well.
Therefore
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, I believe that being in the middle of everything and just looking from outside and waiting tell they come and ask for help, or if you are not capable of doing it,
then
Linking Words
 give them advice and no more than that.

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task achievement
Make sure to answer all parts of the question clearly. You should explain if this pressure is a positive or negative development more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas better. Try to have clear paragraphs with one main idea each.
task achievement
Use more examples that directly relate to your points. This will help to support your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame your essay.
task achievement
You address some important points about parental pressure and its impact on children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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