Smoking Tobacco is becoming increasingly popular among young people with potentially serious effects on their healths. Explain some reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

In some areas around the world, there has always been a considerable amount of young people with an addiction to smoking
tobacco
, which has had a dire effect on their health. There are various reasons for
this
problem, which will be discussed in detail in
this
essay. The reasons as to why young people grow addicted to smoking
tobacco
are countless;
however
, Peer pressure is one of the most common factors involved. Students in their youth often want to impress and give off the aura of a grown adult and are
therefore
convinced that smoking
tobacco
is the most reasonable solution just because their peers are doing the same thing.
For instance
, they try to avoid loneliness by associating with those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not show any positive influence and only give bad advice. Eventually, they are pressured to take advice from them regardless of whether it is harmful to them or not.
Also
, young adults often fall into traps set by the cruelty they face from different situations in their daily lives. In most cases, these doubts stem from loneliness and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of support from loved ones.
Although
there are some people who live just fine and appreciate the lonely moments because of the serene atmosphere they get to enjoy, others prefer not to be left alone with their dangerous thoughts.
For example
, an individual could be struggling with so many problems physically and financially even with the lack of support, they may try to withstand the pressure but fail to do so. They end up smoking
tobacco
to relieve the pain.
Furthermore
, I suggest that grown adults look after their kids and listen to their needs at a very young age in order to avoid any mental health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
In addition
, they should
also
build a very close bond with their children
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learn about their mentality and support them emotionally
however
they can.
Moreover
, the government should ensure that there are free mental health programs for the youth to attend in order to know where to turn to if they need assistance.
Overall
, it is logical
to conclude
that,
this
addiction doesn’t simply stem from desires and ill intent. Most of the youth do not understand how to relieve the pain they feel and use it to block it completely.
Submitted by temibusari06 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the topic and provides reasons and solutions, but it's important to expand on your examples and make them more specific. For instance, provide more elaborate examples to illustrate how peer pressure or lack of support leads to tobacco addiction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use transition words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay's structure: make sure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss, and ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and offers any final thoughts. This helps reinforce the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified key causes of tobacco addiction among young people, such as peer pressure and lack of support, which are relevant and insightful.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion.
task achievement
The suggestions you offer, like parental involvement and mental health programs, are practical and directly address the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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