Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some
people
believe that the Olympic
games
are an amazing event which brings countries together. While
other says that ,it is a waste of money
. Although
the government spend
a lot of Wrong verb form
spent
money
in order to organise this
event , I agree that it makes the connection strong between different cultures and helps in the employment sector also
.
On the one hand , many individuals believe that the Olympic
Games
are a total waste of money
because the government organise this
event in which they spend the
heavy sum of Correct article usage
a
money
on infrastructure as well as
types of equipment like lights ,refreshments etc , which leads to the depletion of natural resources as well as
spend heavy money
for other player housing arrangements . Therefore
, instead
of utilising money
on useful resources like the advancement in technology and in the health service sector would benefit in the future . Although
,
a lot of Remove the comma
apply
money
was spent on the Olympic
games
after a few years , i
believe that it brings Change the capitalization
I
people
closer and provides more benefits too.
On the other hand
, people
think that the Olympic
games
provide an opportunity for men and women to engage in the game and build connections with different religions of people
. These events provide an opportunity for people
to explore other nations and understand their beliefs and,aas
a result, build strong connections with them which would benefit the economy of the countries. Correct your spelling
as
For example
, there are a number of people
who travel across the country in order to watch the Olympics live in a stadium as well as
explore other places , which helps in the development of the country ,especially, in the tourism sector . Therefore
, these games
build strong relationships which might last
longer.
In conclusion, Although
some say that the Olympic
games
are waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
, I disagree with an
above point because they bring Correct article usage
the
people
close to each other and these events create various pathways for employment.Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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grammar
Work on a few grammatical errors. For instance, "On the other hand , people think" should be "On the other hand, people think," and "instead of utilising money on useful resources" could be better written as "instead of utilizing money on other essential resources."
clarity
Make sure to clarify points more explicitly and avoid repetition. For instance, "Therefore, these games build strong relationships which might last longer" is quite similar to what was mentioned in the preceding sentences.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the intent to discuss both viewpoints and the writer's opinion.
balanced argument
The essay presents balanced arguments for both perspectives and provides examples to support them.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively sums up the writer's stance and re-emphasizes the main reasons for their opinion.