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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Should university education be free for all students, or not?

#university #education #students
Our topic today is "Should
university
education
 be free for all students, or not?"
Firstly
, it would be good if the government gave students a chance. Poor but intelligent students should be able to use
this
 chance. I mean,
people
 may be
pauper
Fix the agreement mistake
paupers
show examples
 but somebodies of them deserve
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
education
. In conclusion, it isn'
t
 their choice, you know.
Besides
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, they actually need it.
Because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, if they can'
t
admission
Wrong verb form
be admitted
show examples
 to the
university
 after finishing high school, in the future
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
people
 can'
t
 find
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for themselves. It means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they may live unhappily in the dest of their life.
In addition
, if we
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 worst situation, these
people
 may get depressed
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 being unemployed. We have to tell the
truths
Fix the agreement mistake
truth
show examples
. These situations always happen and they are reasons why
university
education
 should be free.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 young
people
's support is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 thing for every country.
For instance
, after
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
 they can create their own business. It may be commerce, agriculture, tourism and so on. But uneducated
people
 probably can'
t
 do that. After all, if you ask my answer, yes, I think
university
education
 should be free. In conclusion, to make
people
 happy is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
, isn'
t
 it?
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. General points are good, but specific instances will make your essay more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expanding your ideas more clearly. Currently, some of your points are underdeveloped and need more explanation to be fully convincing.
introduction conclusion present
While you have a conclusion, it would be beneficial to summarize your main points more clearly to reinforce your argument.
complete response
The essay has a clear stance on the subject, making it easy to understand your position.
introduction conclusion present
You have a good introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
logical structure
Your arguments are logical and follow a coherent structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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