Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.
It is common knowledge that many
children
and teenagers today are overweight and unhealthy. This
trend poses serious health risks and needs immediate attention. This
essay will discuss the reasons behind the rise in obesity
among young people and propose solutions to address this
issue.
One primary reason for the increase in obesity
is the widespread availability of fast food. Fast food is often high in calories, fats, and sugars, which contribute to weight gain. Children
and teenagers are inclined to choose these convenient options over healthier meals. Another contributing factor is a sedentary lifestyle. With the rise of technology, young people spend more time on computers, smartphones, and video games rather than engaging in physical activities. This
lack of exercise exacerbates the problem of obesity
.
To tackle these issues, schools and parents could promote healthier eating habits by providing nutritious meals and educating children
about the benefits of a balanced diet. For instance
, incorporating more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into their meals can make a significant difference. Additionally
, encouraging regular physical activity is crucial. Schools could organize sports events and physical education classes to get children
moving. Parents can also
limit screen time and motivate their children
to participate in outdoor activities, ensuring they stay active and healthy.
In conclusion, the rise in obesity
among children
and teenagers is a serious issue caused by unhealthy eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle. However
, with the combined efforts of schools and parents to promote healthy eating and regular physical activity, it is possible to combat this
problem effectively. Addressing these issues is essential for the well-being of the younger generation.Submitted by eparfenenkov on
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task response
To further enhance task response, consider integrating more specific statistics or research findings to strengthen the argument. For instance, citing studies that show the correlation between fast food consumption and childhood obesity can provide additional depth and credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
In order to make the essay even more coherent and cohesive, add transitional phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will ensure an even smoother flow of thoughts for the reader.
example quality
While your examples are relevant and appropriate, providing more detailed anecdotes or scenarios could improve the reader's understanding and increase engagement with your argument. For example, discussing a specific instance where a school successfully implemented a healthy eating program could serve as an effective illustration.
content structure
Your essay is very well-organized with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This logical structure helps the reader to follow your argument easily.
idea clarity
The ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing both the causes and solutions related to childhood and teenage obesity. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the issue.
solution practicality
You have provided practical and realistic solutions that could feasibly be implemented, which is crucial for a task response. Your suggestions for both schools and parents are particularly well-thought-out.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.