In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Individuals in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
tendance
to move to Correct your spelling
tend
city
is Add an article
the city
Correct article usage
a globally
globally
phenomenon, and that Change the adverb
global
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
reducing
the population in the rural Replace the word
a reduction in
areas
, simultaneously
the Correct word choice
and, simultaneously
cities
residentsFix the agreement mistake
city
increase
. That impacts remarkably on both Verb problem
apply
areas
, leading to a lack of workforce in the countryside which negatively affect
the Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
economical
activities. And at the same time, the Replace the word
economic
cities
may suffer from significant challenges in address
the Wrong verb form
addressing
newcomers
basic needs.
Change to a genitive case
newcomer's
newcomers'
Firstly
, when people leave the countryside that will, without a doubt, effect
the Correct your spelling
affect
economical
activities in Replace the word
economic
such
areas
, because a lack of labor
may arise. Change the spelling
labour
For example
, when there is
no sufficient Change the verb form
are
framers
to Correct your spelling
farmers
ran
the agricultural Wrong verb form
run
areas
, the product of harvest will suffer from a sharp drop. As a result
, governments may need to import agricultural product
to address the local Fix the agreement mistake
products
consumptions
.
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
On the other hand
, the significant waves of immigrations
to Fix the agreement mistake
immigration
cities
caused remarkable challenges. While
cities
residents Change the noun form
city
increase
, more and more housing units Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
are
need to be built to handle the newcomers. Unnecessary verb
apply
Moreover
, moving inside the cities
will be more difficult, and more traffic jams will appear. All that will force local authorities to direct more spending towards improving infrastructures
facilities and Change the noun form
infrastructure
build
new housing units. Resulting in less invert in rural Wrong verb form
building
areas
, and that will make this
phenomenon increased
.
In conclusion, as the moving of people from rural Wrong verb form
increase
areas
to cities
cause
crucial issues and challenges, the Change the verb form
causes
governments
procedures to tackle these issues may Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
strength
them. Replace the word
strengthen
However
, I believe more investment in rural areas
infrastructure and economic will encourage people to stay in their habitats, and that will be good for the whole society.Submitted by aalahmad387s on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well, but more detailed and varied examples could enhance your arguments. Try to incorporate multiple perspectives and scenarios to illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity of your ideas by organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences and seamless transitions. This will help maintain the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and consider using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve coherence.
organization
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are supported with reasons and examples, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.