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Writing Samples
Band 7

nowdays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology afftected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or nagative development?

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The mode of communicating among
individuals
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 has been impacted by
technology
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. Different
platforms
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 and applications have made profound changes in the
types
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 of
relationships
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people
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 make. In my opinion, these changes can be considered a negative
development
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. Obviously,
people
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's interactions all around the world have varied. The increasing number of
individuals
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 is more engaging with diverse
types
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 of
platforms
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 like Skype, Google Meet and other apps.
Technology
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 especially social
media
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 and messaging apps, has made it difficult to trust
people
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. As it is common to pretend to be a person who you are not in real life and
also
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 to put a mask on your real personality, trusting
people
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 via social
media
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 is harmful.
For example
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, you have found a friend in an app, you talked to her for a
while
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then
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 realised her profile is fake.
Therefore
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, your friendship is spoiled. The ways that
technology
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 has affected
types
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 of
relationships
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 can be summarized by the influence of different social
platforms
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, making
people
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 appear untrustworthy in each other's eyes. Making unreliable
relationships
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 and because of its flashy contents, preventing
people
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 from visiting each other face to face and
finally
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 getting depressed would be likely consequences of
this
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development
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. So it is better to consider it as a negative
development
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. Facilitated ways of communicating make
people
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 feel isolated and neglected because
instead
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 of making a lot of casual acquaintances,
individuals
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 are getting used to temporary friendships. They may make a lot of friends in a day,
however
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, many of them are just fake accounts.
Thus
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, not only
people
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 do not have permanent
relationships
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 but
also
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 they cannot trust friends
knowing
Change the verb form
to know
show examples
 them via social
media
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 and other
platforms
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. In conclusion,
technology
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 has significantly transformed the way
people
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 form
relationships
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.
Technology
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 has made a sweeping change in
individuals
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'
types
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 of
relationships
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 via social
media
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative
development
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 because it makes
relationships
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 unreliable. it makes
relationships
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 unreliable.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but there is room for improvement in developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your central argument. Consider including more specific examples and elaborations to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, but some coherence is lost due to minor grammatical errors and unclear transitions. Work on making your points flow more smoothly from one to the next. For instance, rather than stating 'therefore' without context, consider weaving your statements more seamlessly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and presents the topic well, setting the stage for the discussion.
supported main points
You raised relevant points that align well with the topic, such as the impact of social media on trust and face-to-face interaction.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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