In some countries, more a more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
The essay should describe why
people
rather are hiring
a personal fitness Wrong verb form
hire
trainer
than playing
sports or Wrong verb form
play
doing
Wrong verb form
do
exercise
classes
.
Firstly
, finally
more and more Add a comma
finally,
people
wanted
to take care Wrong verb form
want
about
their Change preposition
of
body
. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
However
, they wanted
more effective Wrong verb form
want
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
for
Change preposition
in
short
Correct article usage
a short
time
, they don´t have lots of free time
for their personal activities and rather take a personal fitness trainer
, who take
care only Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
about
their Change preposition
of
body
and offers a
private training with Correct article usage
apply
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
for example
healty
diet what is Correct your spelling
healthy
health
also
a lot
important for their body
and the last
feedbacks. You can before
Capitalize word
Before
start
the training Wrong verb form
starting
to
Verb problem
apply
aggre
with your Correct your spelling
agree
trainer
which
results you want to get Change preposition
about which
for example
after 3 or 6 months. Also
you have more opinions with the personal Add a comma
Also,
trainer
than if you doing only exercise
classes
and playing sports.
Secondly
, each sides have yours
positive and negative developments. Correct pronoun usage
its
For example
, the personal trainer
can be for
a Correct quantifier usage
more for
lot
of people
so expensive than the exercise
classes
, however
the Add the comma(s)
however,
trainer
should teach you how more effective
you can Change the word
effectively
exercise
each part of your body
, it is big
benefit for you. And next, you can Add an article
a big
lost
a Change the verb form
lose
be lost
lot
of weights
Fix the agreement mistake
weight
for
Change preposition
in
short
Correct article usage
a short
time
and you can aggree
the personal Correct your spelling
agree
trainig
if you have free Correct your spelling
training
time
- whit
Correct your spelling
with
this
you save a lot
of your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
than you have to visit sport
/Fix the agreement mistake
sports
exercise
classess
only in Correct your spelling
classes
the
specific Correct article usage
a
time
. For some people
is so importat
to do Correct your spelling
important
exercise
without other people
and have time
for yourself, but for some people
,it is better to meet with 10 -15 people
during the classes
.
In conclusion, it depends what are your pluses and minuses and than
you can Replace the word
then
choise
what you want. In the Correct your spelling
choose
sport
world Change the noun form
sports
is
a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
lot
of opinions what
you can do.Change preposition
about what
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly summarize your points in the conclusion and link them back to the question. This will strengthen your task response and the introduction-conclusion connection.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will enhance the relevance and clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Correct grammar and spelling errors to make your essay more polished and improve clarity.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and have tried to address both parts of the question.
task achievement
You present some clear reasons and contrasting viewpoints, which adds depth to your essay.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?