Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

plays a more significant role in

people

's lives with its rapid increase in modern society. It is often believed that it has a positive impact on them. I partially support

this

view, for it promotes a more satisfactory lifestyle regardless of the potential negative effect on their emotions. On the one hand, the prevalence of

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

is beneficial to

people

since it encourages them to purchase wider choices of products, which

facilitate

Correct subject-verb agreement

facilitates

show examples

their lives.

In other words

, posters and TV commercials recommend various merchandise, from which consumers gain more comfort and convenience, leading to a rise in their satisfaction.

For instance

, an automatic cleaner called "

rumba

Capitalize word

Rumba

show examples

" allows users to save time and energy as it can remove any tiny dust from a floor on its own, providing them with more free time.

Therefore

such

random

improves their lives by raising their awareness of recent products, encouraging them to give

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

a try.

On the other hand

, a flood of

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

in daily life has an

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

effect on

people

, who are often annoyed by it. Indeed, they are more likely to increase frustration as it has become almost impossible for them to avoid it.

Furthermore

, the frequent exposure to

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

even reduces their attention to work and study, making

people

disappointed by their poor performance.

Thus

, the increase

Change preposition

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

has a damaging influence on them

due to

the sudden interruption. In conclusion, I somewhat believe that the rapid rise in

is advantageous as it introduces various useful products, which allow consumers to save time and energy.

However

, it

also

distracts their attention when they are dealing with serious tasks, making them more frustrated.

Submitted by mizuho on Fri Aug 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying sentence structures for better engagement and flow in your writing.

Task Achievement

Ensure each paragraph is fully developed with examples and explanations for clarity.

Task Achievement

Clear thesis statement stating partial agreement with the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical progression of ideas with the clear beginning, middle, and end.

Task Achievement

Relevant and specific example of 'rumba' to support the point about advertisements introducing useful products.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

informative
engages
creative
art form
consumerism
materialism
misleading
exaggerating
vulnerable
unrealistic
body image expectations
competitive
economical
targeted ads
personalized ads
intrusive

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Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some educationist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think visual images(like photographs and videos) can tell information more accurately in a news story. Others think they are not reliable sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadavantages?

schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, ad use films, TV and computer instead. To what extent do you agree with this?