IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Our local hospital has advertised people to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter •explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital •say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do •give details of when you would be available for this work

Dear Mr Colin, I am regarding the
articual
Correct your spelling
article
 where your hospital has advertised to do some work at the hospital and I would like to help. I am interested
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 unpaid work at your hospital. I have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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experience with
care
Wrong verb form
caring
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about
Change preposition
for
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 old people
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I worked
two
Change preposition
for two
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 years at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 private
age
Replace the word
aged
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 care
centrum
Correct your spelling
centre
show examples
 where I worked as a nursing assistant. I am able to do everything
what
Change the word
that
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 we would like to need, from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cleaning
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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basic care
to
Change preposition
for
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 patients. I have the first aid certificate, the
healthy
Replace the word
health
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 certificate III. I have attached both my certificates for your report. If you are interested
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 me, please let me know via email, or here is my phone number 0414 032 620. PS: I am 40 years old, without kids and I have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday free time until
end
Add an article
the end
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 of October. It would be my pleasure
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
 at your hospital. Kinds
regards
Change the verb form
regard
show examples
 Andrea Kroupa

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter for typos and grammatical errors. For instance, correct 'articual' to 'article' and 'centrum' to 'center.'
task achievement
Consider adding more detail to the specific type of work you'd like to do to make your application more compelling.
suitable writing tone
Ensure you use consistent and appropriate formal language throughout. For example, instead of 'PS:', perhaps 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore,' might be more suitable.
suitable writing tone
Your letter is polite and expresses a genuine willingness to help, which is excellent.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your letter is clear, with separate paragraphs for each point, which helps readability.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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