Some people find it difficult to manage their money . How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people?

#people #money #government #debt #support

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Nowadays,

money

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management is important; yet most of them cannot control their

money

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income and outcomes.

Therefore

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, they tend to borrow

money

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and lead to

debt

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problems . Since these issues have become a trend; in my view, governments need to solve them for some reasons that are set out below.

Firstly

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, governments need to fix the human intelligence itself;

hence

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the root of

this

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problem is their lack of ability to manage the financial cycle. They can open communal sharing regarding the technique to manage it.

Therefore

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, some of them will realize their mistakes, and they will change their habits in the future. Yet, there is still a chance that some of them will be bound by the

debt

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issues,

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however

Add a comma

however,

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if the solution is well implemented

then

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it will help the citizens to get out

from

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show examples

this

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matter.

In addition

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, the government can decrease the tax paid by small-income workers and companies to boost the financial cycle for both governments and folks. After all,

this

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approach will reduce their prolonged debts;

hence

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, when they already

pay for

Wrong verb form

paid

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their debts, they can request

for

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apply

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another loan if needed. But,

this

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will lead to people who are in mid and

high-income

Correct your spelling

high income

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make fake reports to get the same benefits.

Finally

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, they can put more strict regulations to handle debts.

For instance

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, they can reduce the limit of the

money

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that can be borrowed.

Therefore

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this

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approach will put down the problems to some point;

consequently

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, they cannot create a huge

debt

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anymore. On the other side,

this

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act will make them lose interest in borrowing

money

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and reduce the income of the government in receiving interest. In conclusion, the government can put more strict regulations, decrease the term fee for some people from low to

mid income

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mid-income

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, and advertise management knowledge to extinguish the

debt

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problems with ease to fix

this

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condition.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Fri Aug 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds to the prompt and explores several ways the government can help manage debt issues. However, to improve your score, consider providing more detailed and specific examples or case studies to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally maintains a logical structure, but some parts could be more coherently connected. For instance, ensure that each paragraph seamlessly flows into the next one. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

While your main points are clear, some of your arguments could benefit from further development and elaboration. Aim to delve deeper into each solution provided to show a more comprehensive understanding.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and your opinion, making it easy for the reader to understand the purpose of the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the main points discussed and providing a general solution to the problem posed in the prompt.

logical structure

Each paragraph focuses on a distinct argument, helping to structure the essay and making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Some people find it difficult to manage their money . How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

8. The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

Young people who commit serous crimes, such as a robbery or a biolent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?