computers are being used more and more in education . some people say that this is a posetive trend, while othes arguue that it is leading to negeative consequence discuss bothview and give your opinion
Without
adoubt
, Correct your spelling
a doubt
doubt
computers
, in recent decades, have played a crucial role in our life. However
, while
some indiviuals
believe that Correct your spelling
individuals
this
is a benefical
change, I agree with those who argue that using Correct your spelling
beneficial
computers
has a
Correct article usage
apply
determental
outcomes because it Correct your spelling
detrimental
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
on
both physical and mental health.
On the one hand, it could be argued that being able to Change preposition
apply
use
devices like computers
has advaned
our education in Correct your spelling
advanced
cetain
respects. The Correct your spelling
certain
greates
benefit is that when some Correct your spelling
greatest
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise
computer
in Fix the agreement mistake
computers
educatio
,they can work at Correct your spelling
education
best
company in the world since by using Add an article
the best
comuters
, they can easily access Correct your spelling
computers
to
top-ranked Change preposition
apply
unvierity
, and taking online Correct your spelling
university
couses
would help them to improve their resume, so once they Correct your spelling
courses
grauduate
, they have a chance to hire at Correct your spelling
graduate
Add an article
the well
well known
company around the world by Add a hyphen
well-known
sumbitting
their Cv. Correct your spelling
submitting
Secondly
, it seems that,
Remove the comma
apply
computers
are convient
. Correct your spelling
convenient
For instance
, instead
of different books that ought to buy
, they can Wrong verb form
be bought
use
their comuprte
, so they Correct your spelling
computer
are not worry
about which books should they buy, as material usage Change the verb form
are not worried
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
avaiable
for them Correct your spelling
available
in
their computer whenever they want.
Change preposition
on
However
, I think that there are arguments to show that comuters
have a negative Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
impcat
on education. One issue is that if people Correct your spelling
impact
use
computers
, their eyes get dries
. Replace the word
dry
For example
, I had an experince
when I was Correct your spelling
experience
studyin
for a Tofel exam my eyes Correct your spelling
studying
werer
Correct your spelling
were
dired
, and a doctor advised me to Correct your spelling
dried
use
eye-drops
. Even worse, in my opinion, people can lose their Correct your spelling
eye drops
fouce
on Correct your spelling
force
focus
subject
Add an article
the subject
due to
the fact that they might get distrubtes
by other sites or Correct your spelling
distracted
application
. The most damaging aspect is cost. Some, Fix the agreement mistake
applications
for example
, live in Add an article
the low-incom
a low-incom
low-incom
family can not afford to buy Correct your spelling
low-income
comuters
for their Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
accademic
goal. As Correct your spelling
academic
aresult
, they get disappointed to follow their education.
To Correct your spelling
a result
sume
up, Correct your spelling
sum
althogh
it is undeniable that Correct your spelling
although
comuters
help people to secure better Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
carrer
for themselves, it has Correct your spelling
careers
effect
on Add an article
an effect
family
who suffer from Fix the agreement mistake
families
fincial
Correct your spelling
financial
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Therefore
, on balance, I belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
computers
are importain
that we can not Correct your spelling
important
ignor
.Correct your spelling
ignore
Submitted by yektashahryari on
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spelling
Work on improving your spelling and typing accuracy. Errors such as 'determental' instead of 'detrimental', 'effects' instead of 'affects', and 'dried' instead of 'dry' can be distracting for the reader and lower your score.
introduction
The introduction could be clearer and more concise. Consider briefly mentioning both viewpoints without extensive explanation, and then state your opinion clearly.
coherence
Enhance the use of linking words and transitional phrases to improve the logical structure and flow of your arguments. Phrases like 'on the other hand' are useful but using a variety can make your essay more engaging.
supporting examples
Your essay could benefit from more detailed and specific examples to support the points made. For instance, you could provide more figures or studies when discussing the health effects of computers.
conclusion
Develop the conclusion by summarizing the main arguments more effectively and restating your opinion clearly. Make sure it encapsulates the whole essay and doesn't introduce new points.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is crucial for this type of task. You have provided reasoning for both perspectives and your own opinion.
clarity
Clear ideas are presented in each paragraph, demonstrating an organized approach to each point of view and your own stance.
coherence
You have made a good attempt to use transitional phrases such as 'on the one hand,' 'however,' and 'even worse,' which helps to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Acknowledging the financial burden on low-income families adds depth to the discussion of the negative aspects of computer use in education.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general
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