Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many folks believe that adolescent
years
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are actually the most joyful time in people's lives;
however
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, others think that one's
life
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brings more lasting fulfilment and happiness. In my opinion, I strongly state that a mature
life
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is more satisfactory because they tend to get more personal space and a sustainable income . On the one hand, the teen period could be perceived as the most joyful
years
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for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons is that during
this
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time, the child gets support from his family, and almost takes no responsibility for doing tasks
such
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as chores and paying the bills.
Moreover
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, they get involved in many different activities at that age, learn new things, and obtain interesting hobbies. To illustrate
this
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, data has shown that children who were engaged in different activities like sports were happier than other inactive teenagers.
Also
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, free time is much more during these
years
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as they get to party with friends and go to many places. Despite saying that, I still believe that adulthood is more enjoyable when it comes to freedom.
On the other hand
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, grown-up
life
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is highly debated to bring
such
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fulfilment to
life
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in many aspects.
Although
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many responsibilities and duties are expected, there are still many joys that lie behind them.
Firstly
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, adults tend to get more free space by moving to a new apartment, which creates peace of mind.
For instance
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, it has been shown that adult workers who lived in a single en-suite apartment were more creative and generally happier in the workspace. What's even more is that the paychecks allow people in their twenties and above to get a more stable
life
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, and an option to travel to many places around the world.
Also
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, many think that marriage and having children can lead to
such
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fulfilment and a high rate of satisfaction in the long term. In conclusion,
although
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childhood age is remarkable in every sense in terms of happiness, and is believed to be the most joyful
years
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in a
life
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span, I strongly argue
,
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apply
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that older people have a lasting enjoyment despite the responsibility.

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task response
For task response: give a more clear view of both sides. Your own view is there, but some ideas need more full help.
task response
For task response: use more exact examples. Some examples are good, but they feel a bit wide or not fully real.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some lines do not flow in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: link some ideas more clearly. A few words like 'this', 'these', or 'as a result' can help the reader move from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: avoid small breaks in form, like the extra full stop line after the first part.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main ideas are easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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